The Infamous QP
Cleve's Funny Shit

 
6.9.04 - retiring soon
 
Eleese86 (10:40:04 PM): u see the new pic i put up
Swimmer1022 (10:40:08 PM): hmmm......... *pondering* about how healthy that is
 

ohmann.jpg
Kenny Vasoli<3

Swimmer1022 (10:43:27 PM): yeaaaa thats a disorder u know...
Swimmer1022 (10:43:34 PM): and its called stalking
 
 
[Danielle Berkowitz ( my best friend) is cleaning my face by licking her finger n rubbing my cheek]
Danielle: I think thats a freckle.
Me: Yeah..that's not going anywhere...

[Random Joke sent to me]
What do the toilet, the clit and anniversaries all have in common?
Men miss them all.
 

[Me Danielle and Maggie Haviland are taking sips from each others drink]
Maggie: I don't like Yahoo
Danielle and Me: You mean Yoohoo...
Maggie: Haha i knew that sounded weird...

[My dad took the power-washer and wrote my family's names with it on the concrete]
Danielle: Why does this not surprise me? Sometimes I wonder about you guys...

[Kyle Price..whats not to love?]
Kyle: Oh no, Oh no... that's not how it goes..OH NO!
Me: Wait..what?
Kyle: I like chicken...

[My brother did exactly what Ryan said.]
Quesstion Mark [4:12 PM]:  Im out like your brother in a "i didnt shave an arrow out of my chest hair pointing to my penis" contest

[Niki Demosi and I are very violent when speaking to eachother]
Auto response from RiDdLemiDiS [1:57 PM]:  all my bags r packed im readyy to goo< im standin here out side ya door< id hate to wake u up too sayy goodbyee<  but the dawn is breakin its early morn the taxis waiten hes blowin his horn im ready im so loncem i can diee soo kiss me nd smile 4 mee tell me that ull wait 4 meee hold meee like yall neva lettt me goo cuz im leavin onnn a jett planeee i dont no wenn ill be backk againn
Eleese86 [1:57 PM]:  i hope that jet plane crashes
RiDdLemiDiS [1:57 PM]:  yea rite into u

RyEgUy2OOO (3:11:13 PM): thanks for getting me hard then not finishing the job

QuessTion marK (8:43:57 PM): i swear to god... if i ever meet your friend niki on your quotes page i am going to beat him sensless...if i see another quote sPeLlEd LiKe DiS i am going to rip my eyes out and eat them

QuessTion marK (8:48:45 PM): lol that would be great if you were just like
QUOTE IN ITSELF::RYAN PULITO

[Ryan talking about my dead journal entry.]
QuessTion marK (8:50:38 PM): Today most girls would think as the end of their lives..me n anthony broke up today..
QuessTion marK (8:51:17 PM): D: aw alyse...... your ok though right?

[Honestly i have no idea why Ryan is so random]
QuessTion marK (11:26:30 PM): haha imagine this....you walk into a bar....and its filled with clowns raping farm animals...they all turn around..and start singing billy idol...the doors lock behind you and they dress you up in a velcro suit and throw you onto a velcro wall....how fucking random would that be

[As my brother walks into my room rambling on]
Eric: You know its bad when the crumbs from your food fall and get caught in the hair on your stomach.

[On the way home from Long Beach my brother got to drive with my mom in the passenger seat]
My Mom: Eric! Slow down!!
Eric: I'm only doing 85!
My Mom: Eric!!
Eric: What?! We just got smoked by a saturn and 2 mini vans!!

My Mom: Wow..those flowers are huge...They must be on steriods!!Look at the size of them!!
Eric: Must be that miracle grow..

My brother singing the Asshole song by Dennis Leary:
Eric: IM AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!! YES IM AN ASSHOLE!
My Dad: His theme song...

Eric: So we make a rizight over herr?
[2 minutes later]
Eric: Ill just pull into this parking lizzot.

[Brad Dejarnett Sean Anderson and I are sitting on Melissa Lupo;s floor]
Melissa: Alright guys...i got to let my dog in here...(we hear BOOM BOOM coming from the other side of the door)
[This little dog comes running out..the tinest dog i've ever seen]
It was funny at the time...

[ Pat Bohner comes over my house quite frequently and likes to pretend he's going to rape me.]
Pat: See now Eric, (talking to my brother) I like telling girls that i have a boner..i feel healthy and happy knowing that my penis likes to pop up and say hello...isnt it good having a constantly hard penis rather then a soft one?
Eric: Get out of my house...

[Me and Ryan Santoriello are talking about school and homework]
Ghettochild40oz (4:30:30 PM): so u got homework yet
Eleese86 (4:30:58 PM): yeh lol
Ghettochild40oz (4:31:03 PM): that suxxxxxx
Eleese86 (4:31:07 PM): but it only takes me like 10 mins to do it
Eleese86 (4:31:08 PM): hahah yeh
Ghettochild40oz (4:31:34 PM): ohh wel lof course mrs smarty
Ghettochild40oz (4:31:42 PM): mrs smarty
Eleese86 (4:31:44 PM): hahaha
Ghettochild40oz (4:31:45 PM): how gay is that
Ghettochild40oz (4:31:49 PM): i cant believe just said that
Ghettochild40oz (4:32:16 PM): u can laugh bout that for a while
Ghettochild40oz (4:32:24 PM): til i say sumthin more retarded

[Kyle sounded very upset so I asked him what was wrong...]
K yle: Do you promise not to tell anyone?
Me: Yeah sure...
Kyle: My dad has to do something really bad...but i can't tell you..because he's in the IK's (a gang)
Me: Oh..are you okay?
Kyle: No, they have to rob a bank....
Me: What?!?
Kyle: HAHAH im just fucking with ya!!

SHUTURMOUTH3587 [12:33 AM]:  u r cooler than the other side of the pillow...

SHUTURMOUTH3587 [12:33 AM]:  so when can i put my face in between your boobs and you shake em back and forth?

 SHUTURMOUTH3587 [12:47 AM]:  mom 
 Eleese86 [12:48 AM]:  yes son
 SHUTURMOUTH3587 [12:48 AM]:  i <3 your boobs.

[Ryan loves Fridays..as you can tell]
Ghettochild40oz [7:26 PM]:  2morrow tuesday!
Ghettochild40oz [7:26 PM]:  we gettin close
Ghettochild40oz [7:27 PM]:  only 4 more dayz lol
Ghettochild40oz [7:32 PM]:  so wut u doin 2morrow
Ghettochild40oz [7:32 PM]:  skool right
Ghettochild40oz [7:32 PM]:  and the next day
Ghettochild40oz [7:32 PM]:  SKOOL??
Ghettochild40oz [7:33 PM]:  ohh and thursday 
Ghettochild40oz [7:33 PM]:  SKOOL
Ghettochild40oz [7:33 PM]:  ohh n the beloved day 
Ghettochild40oz [7:33 PM]:  the day of days
Ghettochild40oz [7:33 PM]:  the final strech 2 the promised land

[Jon Kortmann explaing crazy things]
SHUTURMOUTH3587:   its just like a fox being stealing all your ketchup and mustard and keeping it all for himself and then selling it to a poler bear who lives in east india with a swan and a turtle who like to eat chinese checkers pieces and plastic diamonds rings on it...its just crazy, and unheard of.

[Chistian Cornwell feels out of the loop]
Oracle Christian [3:21 PM]:  i want an inside joke with you

[As im explaining how my brother beats me up for no reason]
Oracle Christian [3:17 PM]:  stay away from him
Oracle Christian [3:17 PM]:  i dont want you dead 
Oracle Christian [3:17 PM]:  i need a science partner

RoCkInItGaNgStA3 (6:58:47 PM): That quote page is off the hischzi fochizi, but it needs spice. You should add pictures off 3 cucumbers, a golf club, a chinese checkers board, a sponge (not to be confused with spongebob squarepants), a gallon of milk and a button that says, "Hello, My names Alyse, Im Jonathan Kortmanns Mother, And im also the queen of Barcelona."<~Thats a crowd favorite.

[Alex Belknap, Eric, and I are driving around.]
Alex: This car would be alot better with tints.
Eric: Yeah..im getting 15's
Alex: 15's dont do anything for me...dark would work...
Eric: Hows very fucking dark?
Alex: Haha yes..fucking dark..I'm feeling that..

Me: Daddy..the army just called for Eric[my brother]..they want him..
My Dad: What did they say?
Me: Well the guy got on the phone and he's like "Hello is Eric home..this is the army" So I was like Hells No! and hung up.
My Dad: Yeah...Jews don't go to the army anyway..we have Israel!
 

RiDdLemiDiS [2:57 PM]:  im faT
Eleese86 [2:57 PM]:  lol no ur ugly
RiDdLemiDiS [2:57 PM]:  y THank u mISs preTty

[Ella DeLeon(she's asian) talking about the quotes page and what she thinks of it]
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:42 PM]:  yea im going through the whole thing
Eleese86 [3:42 PM]:  which one r u up to
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:42 PM]:  i dunno i lost my spot!!
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:42 PM]:  damn it!
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:42 PM]:  damn my azn eyes
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:43 PM]:  n if i open my eyes wide enough it looks like im crack
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:43 PM]:  n if i dont open them enough it looks like im sleep
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:43 PM]:  n when i do sleep ppl talk to me thinking im awake!
Eleese86 [3:43 PM]:  hahahaha
HaRdKn0cK0uT [3:43 PM]:  its not a win win stuation!!

[3 Way on the fone with Lauren Lagarde, Kyle Price and Me]
Kyle: I just ran 6 f-ckin miles!I can't move!
Lauren: haha Sucks for you
Kyle: Yeah..now i can't move..Mo!!!!(his little sister)Help me up!!Aight guys hold up...
Me: This is going to be funny..
(We hear a loud BANG!)
Kyle, screaming from a distance: Mo!! hurry get the phone!!
Kyle: Ugh guys...i think i broke me..
 

[Feeling so loved, Christa Chapman tells me how bad she wants to be on the quotes page]
BaByyFrEakk (7:08:41 PM): i wanna be on the quotes page!!!...lets seee...inside joke inside joke....
BaByyFrEakk (7:08:44 PM): remember that time we....
BaByyFrEakk (7:08:46 PM): wait no......
BaByyFrEakk (7:08:50 PM): how bout the time we.....
BaByyFrEakk (7:08:56 PM): umm no thats not it.....
BaByyFrEakk (7:09:19 PM): what about the time i hugged yew when the thunder n lightning came...good times good timess...
BaByyFrEakk (7:09:32 PM): lol okay i feel special now cuz i have a memory with alyse:-)

GreenE99SnHam666 (3:30:06 PM): Another crazy screen name from the artist formally known as Jonathan KortmannŠ

GreenE99SnHam666 [3:36 PM]:  The other day i was sleeping... And when i woke up, I had my eyes closed and the phone was ringing, I put my hand up to my ear like my hand was a telephone and said "Hello? Hello?" And my brother was like "What the hell are you doing" I said "Im answering the phone" Hes like "I have it, Its for you its Rob you idiot"

[Charis Delarosa...enough said..]
Rican Girly 7 [3:46 PM]:  i'll give u 5$ fo u 2 put me on ya quotes page......
Rican Girly 7 [3:47 PM]:  so i look cool 2 

[In the car with LT Jimmy Hahn and Jon Kortmann]
Jon: wouldn't that be great if lassie could talk..
Jimmy: Yeah..that boy would be calling him "Lassie!! Lassie!! and the dog would be like.."Bitch shut the fuck up..im coming."
Jon: Haha yes yes
Me, looking out the window: This is going to be a long ride.

GreenE99SnHam666 [3:11 PM]:  Quote page has quotes galour,
GreenE99SnHam666 [3:11 PM]:  My mom just walked in the door.
GreenE99SnHam666 [3:11 PM]:  My left foot is really sore.
GreenE99SnHam666 [3:11 PM]:  YOUR A DIRTY FUCKING WHORE.
GreenE99SnHam666 [3:11 PM]:  It all rhymes.

[Freestyling with David Espinoza (from Queens)and his friend Tyrone]
BLooDSTANeDKiNG: my rymes are so ill u'll swear they need nyquil..even though im so hot my ice is givin u cold chills..i keep my tube socks filled...i do pop pills..i pop the shit that got tupac killed..
BloOd2BlaDe1313:  nigga took dat shit from me
BLooDSTANeDKiNG:  maybe next time, i dont need ur rymes they come to me all the tyme just like ur mom callin me up at 9
Eleese86:  hahaha
BLooDSTANeDKiNG:  haha shes laffin cause i didnt get her yet, best bet, hair looks like a chia pet, im the best yet, dont let my words confuse u, shes a jew who woulda knew, u know she jumped when the penny flew
BLooDSTANeDKiNG:  lol shes run outta werds to say same lines all day, but its her spot i'll replace, in the kosher race, too fat to tie her own lace its a disgrace to queens even l.i. knows shes a waste, u cant keep up wit my pace, i'll bust u up word
 

[Erica Todisco on the subject of our Global teacher with A.D.D who constantly pulls at her hair]
GLiTtErQt143 [5:17 PM]:  one day ms o'leary is gona walk into class, probably at the end of the year and have a huge head of frizzy/curly hair from trying to straighten it down and make it oily with her hand and putting it behind her ear.

[Nick Demosi after not seeing me for a while]
RiDdLemiDiS [4:54 PM]:  i Declared u sExy From nOw on LoL
RiDdLemiDiS [4:54 PM]:  ur nEw namE
RiDdLemiDiS [4:54 PM]:  LoL
Eleese86 [4:54 PM]:  hahahha lol 
Eleese86 [4:54 PM]:  u need a name
RiDdLemiDiS [4:55 PM]:  boB Bob diLlan

[Erica Todisco and I are talking about one certain kid I like that's going out with an 8th grader.]
GLiTtErQt143 (3:15 PM): maybe if u talk to him more n like ask him to chill and he gets to kno you..he'll lose the diapers and move on to underwear

GreenE99SnHam666 [5:16 PM]:  If humpty dumpty fell over, And those damn kings horses and those damn kings man, Could put humpty dumpty back together again, I would just wait for him to go back on that wall and put a frying pan at the bottom and push that peice of shit off, And have one hell of a breakfast.

[After asking Brian Plunkett for a favor] 
Brihoky16 [5:44 PM]:  anything for you...;-)
Eleese86 [5:45 PM]:  hahahaha
Eleese86 [5:45 PM]:  well pretend u like me lol  
Brihoky16 [5:45 PM]:  i already am

[Hmm..randomness?] 
Brihoky16 [5:47 PM]:  is it normal to talk on aim wit ur dad
Brihoky16 [5:47 PM]:  cuz he's talkin to me right now and it doesn't feel right
Brihoky16 [5:48 PM]:  old people should be outlawed from using computers

Eleese86 [5:49 PM]:  i talk to my brother n dad online at the same time
Brihoky16 [5:50 PM]:  ya its way too weird of a thing for me...especially since my dad is skinny
 Brihoky16 [5:53 PM]:  o shit...that was the understatement of the year
 

[In science while discussing how too much yeast makes alcohol]
Random Girl: I heard some bread tastes like beer...
Volpicella: yeah..because too much yeast produces alcohol.
Pat Sheridan: So i can get drunk off bread...??
Christian Cornwell, pretending to be drunk: Woah man...im so wasted..i just had 4 slices of bread..

[My mom recently got an Acura RSX (extremely fast) and was test driving it, so she picked me and Lauren Lagarde up from school]
My mom: Should i smoke this truck?
Me: Well...you just got smoked by a mini van..try passin that one first.

[Kyle Price, on the fone while Lauren Lagarde sits next to me.]
Lauren: Kyle is going away for like 2 weeks!!!
Me: OMG noooo!!(Kyle is like my best friend)
(As my cell fone rings..it just happens to be Kyle)
Kyle: Pretend im going away for 2 weeks..i'll only be gone for a day but we all know that I over-exaggerate just about everything.

[Darren Guerriere and his randomness]
Eleese86 [8:00 PM]:  how does it feel?  
BauerHokey22 [8:00 PM]:  i dunno wanna fuck?

[COLOR WAR!!!]
Eleese86 (7:23:54 PM): yellow
Brihoky16 (7:24:31 PM): red
[As we get a little more aggressive]
Brihoky16 (7:26:04 PM): macoroni and cheese.........OOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIT I GOT U GOOD U FUCKER!!!!!
Eleese86 (7:26:49 PM): shamrock
Eleese86 (7:26:51 PM): hahahaahaa
Eleese86 (7:26:53 PM): FUCK YOUU!!!!!!!!
Brihoky16 (7:29:46 PM): robin's egg blue.........who feels like an ass
 

[Later in the conversation]
Eleese86 (7:30:16 PM): jungle greennnnnn
Brihoky16 (7:30:30 PM): u can do better than that...atomic tangerine
Eleese86 (7:30:46 PM): u got a crayon box in front of u!!!!
Eleese86 (7:30:49 PM): ur cheating!!!!!!!
Brihoky16 (7:31:29 PM): tickle me pink..........SMOOOOOOOOOOKED
Eleese86 (7:31:33 PM): OOOOO HAHAHAHAAHA
Brihoky16 (7:32:19 PM): i think the guy who came up w/ that one was a little horny ya say

[During lunch with Stephan Miller, Erica Todisco and alot of other people.]
Ms. Kelly(lunch aid): What's that club for buisness?
Stephan: R.O.M?
Ms Kelly: Are you sure?
Stephan: Yeah...Retards Of America
Erica: Hey Stephan..i think you belong in that club more than anyone.America starts with an A...

[Mike Manzo...gotta love him]
CzyMnZo0 (3:41:03 PM): maybe ill move onto underwear instead of diapers?
CzyMnZo0 (3:41:23 PM): but saying that..expecially on a page that ppl look at about me..not cool
CzyMnZo0 (3:41:30 PM): so could we please take that off there lol
CzyMnZo0 (3:42:48 PM): so we all know u wanna take that off tha page about me right
CzyMnZo0 (3:42:49 PM): amazing
CzyMnZo0 (3:42:54 PM): so lets make it a plan =]
 

[Erica talking about OLeary again...]
GLiTtErQt143 [4:48 PM]:  peace out ma!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox bfff aaf ttdwd nmw tteot!! XOXOXOXO LOVE U!! O'LEARY ROCKS MY WORLD ..wait i mean..

[At work with Brian Plunkett, talking to Debbie, our boss, about her evil daughter]
Brian: Who did you screw to get her? The Devil??

[Dave Arpino and are talking about Sponge Bob]
Eleese86 [9:19 AM]:  patrick almost drowns but then he realizes he can stand in the water !
Eleese86 [9:19 AM]:  ooo i love this one  
StillMaticEther9 [9:20 AM]:  wow
StillMaticEther9 [9:20 AM]:  is there an open window around you?
Eleese86 [9:20 AM]:  yup  
StillMaticEther9 [9:20 AM]:  good jump out

[Kyle Price, on the phone, talking about something we do]
Me: Yeah..only on days that end in y..
Kyle: Oh.. you mean like December and shit?

[Kyle, on the phone once again]
Me: I have a beep ..but i dont feel liek picking it up
Kyle: That could your mom like dying on the other line.."helpp mee"

Kyle: Wait hold on...speak Mexican to me..let me get my interpreter _______
(You have to know me well to understand the joke)

[One day i curled my hair like Maggie Haviland's]
Me: So what do you think..curly or straight?
Maggie: Straight...mine is too big
Me: What do you mean?
Maggie: Well, people don't talk to me, they talk to my hair..Rob McCurrio even gave it a name..

[Amber Fazio...way past random]
xXkrAzy4kAndieXx (8:49:16 PM): hmm.. head is a funny work kuz in italian itz la testa..n testa sounds like testicle which kinda reffers to head lolz haha wow i get it

[Brian talking about work]
Brihoky16 [4:13 PM]:  u've never seen a real timeout cafe food battle...it gets ugly 
Brihoky16 [4:13 PM]:  it like guerilla warfare

[Lunch with Erica Stephan and I as I wear a extremely low cut shirt
Me: Erica your hair is so long!
Stephan: Repunsel Repusel let down your....BOOBS..i see cleavage!!

 Auto response from GLiTtErQt143 [2:49 PM]:  daily 2:45 phone call with alyse...:-P.
"Save the planet. Kill yourself"

[Me and Ryan ..talking about our trip to Cali]
Ghettochild40oz (7:13:40 PM): im feelin LA
Eleese86 (7:13:48 PM): im goin for compton
Ghettochild40oz (7:13:53 PM): yeh fuk that

[Talking about how our birthdays are one day apart]
CzyMnZo0 (7:37:45 PM): its too conqicndfishfsfoudential

[Before I call a kid who I had problems with]
Eleese86 [8:27 PM]:  wut should i sayy 
GLiTtErQt143 [8:27 PM]:  hm..i dunoo.. "heyy how r ya" would be a good starter.

StillMaticEther9 [8:34 PM]:  whattup cock tease

[On Ryan(my bestest friend)'s profile]
Wut up 2 the #1 gangsta (alyse) u reppin it 24/7

StillMaticEther9 [6:23 PM]:  does your mom have any windex? 
Eleese86 [6:23 PM]:  yup  
StillMaticEther9 [6:23 PM]:  good go down the bottle
StillMaticEther9 [6:25 PM]:  i mean if that wasnt worth the quote page
StillMaticEther9 [6:25 PM]:  then fuck, i dont know what is

[While giving presentation to Rasweiler in English]
Rasweiler: Whose my next SACRIFICAL LAMB?!?
Jenna Jonnason: Oh my God...she's[me]writing it down..

[Jenna..my little slut bag!]
Eleese86 [6:50 PM]:  im backk  
Jemz720 [6:51 PM]:  and that grl alyse is such a slut
Jemz720 [6:51 PM]:  OMG HEY

[Chunga..much love]
RaYBeEZ 67 [6:55 PM]:  StillMaticEther9 (6:48:22 PM): i just wana bust all over ur face til u cant breathe --- haha u brought it on urselffff lol god knows wut u were telling him

[Only Amber...]
xXkrAzy4kAndieXx [7:10 PM]:   n i was watchin this show on condomz lolz...n i thought...good friendz r like condomz..they alwayz protect u when thingz get hard!!haha

[Stephan obsessed with sex..]
Zlimshady1: my penis is on the run from the police for murder .. can you hide him out for a while ?

[Bill Young on the bus..talking about how I'm a "slut"]
Bill: So tell me Alyse, how may cocks have you sucked?
Me: ......None!
Bill: That's shit...Two sucked, One f*cked..haha I'm like Dr. Seuss..One cock, two cock red cock blue cock!

Matt Walsh...
XxHyBrDThEoRyxX (10:50:21 PM): must.. make quotes page
XxHyBrDThEoRyxX (10:50:30 PM): so i says to the guy... get your own monkey!
XxHyBrDThEoRyxX (10:50:38 PM): (god dammit.. ill never make it)

Deer humping with Mike Berkowitz and Ella..
Mike: F*ck... some lady is coming!! HURRY BIATCH!
Me, while setting up the deer: AHHHHH
Ella: Hurry Lee!!!
Mike: ABORT!!! ABORT!! get in the f*cking car!!
 

[As Pat Bohner licks Strawberry rolling paper]
Me: How does that taste?
Pat: Like Strawberry flavored cancer..

[Amber's perfect solution for getting caught with a boy who has a girlfriend...]
xXkrAzy4kAndieXx (7:06:04 PM): lol n if she walks in we can b like o good thing your here..we are checking for testicular cancer..very hard to identify..you gotta b really careful

Alright...Me and Stephanie Maffia have this obsession with this amazing kid that I hooked up with in December..
 
StephieM320 (8:13:09 PM): i looked at him andd it was like there was a light  shining around him!
StephieM320 (8:13:45 PM): lol im not even kidding my eyes were like glued to him and then we like made eye contact i was like holy shyt he looked at me

With Mark Governale* and Pat O'Dwyer while Mark rolls a blunt for some random kid..
Mark: I see you got yourself some rolling paper... good job little one!
Pat: What kind is it?
Mark: Sour Apple....
(Mark licks it to close it..)
Mark: F-ck bro! Is this shit supposed to taste like ass.. I don't see 'Ass Flavored Paper' written on the wrapper!
 
*January 1st, 2003.. RIP Mark Governale, Smithtown loves and misses you - always love :( i miss you baby

HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:21:46 PM): what u up to?
Eleese86 (7:21:59 PM): nuttinz wut r u doinnn
HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:22:25 PM): masterbating to the thoughts of an orange

HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:24:03 PM): do we like my hair better curly or straight?
Eleese86 (7:24:19 PM): curly.... u look so natural, but sexayy
Eleese86 (7:24:30 PM): lol ok... let me rephrasae that... that was a bit lesbianish...
HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:24:34 PM): yea i knew u were lookin at me funni

Auto response from StillMaticEther9 (7:40:32 PM): colors that end in urple "uggghhh light urple?"

[Nicole Juliano..woo hoo. congrats babe!! lol]
BaBii NiCc (7:51:57 PM): im trin to think of sumthing funni to say to b on ur page,... bc everys like yeaa imma say summthin good to get on ur pagee  but nopee mines gnna b tha funniest outta them all jus gimme a few years to thnink bc im blonde i swear.. hold on
Eleese86 (7:52:18 PM): hahahaha!!!!!!!
BaBii NiCc (7:52:50 PM): haha im gunna think of sun funni shit jus u wait

[Kyle Price and Bobby Thompson on 3 way]
Try to picture this:
Bobby: Takes pictures!!
Me: Where?
Kyle: In the kitchen...with a fork in your ear...

Me: When are we going to hang out??
Bobby: Hold on.. Let me get my palm pilot
::Beeping::
Bobby: Well I have you down for January 24th
..... We three way Kyle....
Kyle: What are you doing next weekend?
Bobby: I have Alyse down for the 24.. blow job
Me: haha maybe more..
Bobby: Blow job and a hand shake....

IF Ella was on MTV's Fanatic to meet the Pope.. these are some questions to be asked:
Did you always want to be a pope?
Does your neck hurt from the hat?
Can I wear the hat?
Do you abuse the pope-mobile?
You must get all the women?
Are the rumors true about you and Mother-Theresa?
Are you even Christian?
Are you in it for the wardrobe?
Do you know Jesus?
Boxers or briefs?
If you could describe yourself as a vegetable.. what would it be and why?
 

[Me and Kyle Price... after a little fight]
FrIdAyFoR2o [8:07 PM]:  but were all jooish in a way
Eleese86 [8:08 PM]:  yeh well..im takin u off my profile!
FrIdAyFoR2o [8:08 PM]:  noooooooooooooooooooooooooo >:o
FrIdAyFoR2o [8:08 PM]:  with a capital M
FrIdAyFoR2o [8:08 PM]:  .....or N
 

[I love best friends! Kyle and Bobby]
FrIdAyFoR2o (9:06:02 PM): REMINDER: AOL will never ask your password or billing information
UR ma Is HoT (9:05:36 PM): Note: AOL member profiles are not accessible through AOL Instant Messenger.

[Erica and I.... ownage..]
incubuscrazed215 [7:22 PM]:  like ur body in the oven?
Eleese86 [7:23 PM]:  haha ouch  
incubuscrazed215 [7:23 PM]:  ooo damnnnn. smokeddd.
Eleese86 [7:24 PM]:  hahah shower time.. o no wait.. all out of perfume?  
incubuscrazed215 [7:24 PM]:  hahaha ohhhh.
Eleese86 [7:24 PM]:  lol  
Eleese86 [7:24 PM]:  hahaha eat that!  
incubuscrazed215 [7:24 PM]:  listen schin!
incubuscrazed215 [7:24 PM]:  someone dropped a penny....quick run and get it before they notice! 
Eleese86 [7:25 PM]:  u should go join rent a midget  
Eleese86 [7:27 PM]:  oo what now?!?!  
incubuscrazed215 [7:28 PM]:  dont force me to use, the you know what jokes.
Eleese86 [7:28 PM]:  hahah ur so full of shit ur eyes r brown..  
incubuscrazed215 [7:29 PM]:  im sorry dont cry because u have a burning bush downstairs
Eleese86 [7:29 PM]:  the shit hit the fan n landed on erica...blended in tho...
Eleese86 [7:29 PM]:  hahaha  
incubuscrazed215 [7:29 PM]:  i guess you got hit by dirt thru a screen door with all thos fucking freckles.
Eleese86 [7:30 PM]:  welcome to america... ill b ur hostess Alyse...heres ur green card..  
incubuscrazed215 [7:30 PM]:  maybe i should send you to puerto rico because ur so pale and u need a god damn tan.....oh wait you'll turn red
Eleese86 [7:31 PM]:  lets play hide n go seek....::the lights r off: ERICA!! SMILE... I CANT SEE U!
incubuscrazed215 [7:31 PM]:  lets play look who glows in the dark.... ALYSE you win!
Eleese86 [7:32 PM]:  so i hear the boat was small... how many ppl packed in the ship?  
Eleese86 [7:32 PM]:  or did u swim.....  
incubuscrazed215 [7:33 PM]:  its not my fault you have the worst combination of nationalities. we cant always be this blessed.
Eleese86 [7:34 PM]:  yeh blessed with an amazing power to learn english in only a few years...  
incubuscrazed215 [7:34 PM]:  omg... do you smell that? something is burning. ...  oh its alright its just alyse. shes usta it
Eleese86 [7:36 PM]:  AHHHH wild gorilla!!!!!!!   
Eleese86 [7:36 PM]:  o no wait... its erica..  
incubuscrazed215 [7:36 PM]:  watch out its an eclipse.... no hun alyse is just going to sit down. be patient
Eleese86 [7:38 PM]:  Y IS THERE A WALL HERE??? oo its erica   
Eleese86 [7:38 PM]:  shutdownnn   
incubuscrazed215 [7:38 PM]:  IF U MADE SENSE!
Eleese86 [7:38 PM]:  hahaha if u understand english!  
incubuscrazed215 [7:38 PM]:  a wall ? how am i a wall
Eleese86 [7:39 PM]:  ur chest
incubuscrazed215 [7:39 PM]:  ohhh hahahahahahaa
Eleese86 [7:39 PM]:  lolol  
incubuscrazed215 [7:39 PM]:  that was ownage. that was the bets rank out session ever!

[Me and Maggie on the bus... Mags stop is usually the stop right before me]
As were getting off on my stop...
Bus Driver: I knew the pretty girl with the eye shadow was on the bus..you tricked me!!

Auto Response from Eleese86:  fone with tom.. shower.. n then fone with kylee bbl :o)
Ghettochild40oz: well mrs. i have a phone schedule...
Ghettochild40oz: ill have my men call your men

StephieM320 (9:53:34 PM): goooo shawtyy its ur bday ....we guna partyyyy liek its ur birthday...we're guna SIP BACARDI like its ur bday ...and yo we dont give a fuck cuz ITS NOT UR BURTHDAY

[Asking how boys I like are doing..]
StephieM320 (9:56:18 PM): as we go down the list

[Blonde moment]
My brother was on the house phone,  so I went to use my line. The fax machine was hooked up to my phone and I didn't know how un-plug it, so I called my dad on that line..
Me: Daddy.. where is the plug?
Daddy: Look by the bed.. the white plug..
(As I unplug the phone I'm on)
I call my dad back
Me: whoops sorry..
Daddy: Blonde moment...

Plunkett explaining this amazing pizza
Brian: and wow.. this pizza was amazing..i swear.. i blew my load on the first bite..twice...

[Getting scared]
Brian: If shootin people were legal.. there'd be a human genocide.. id shoot everyone that pissed me off...

hardkn0ck0ut (9:21:49 PM): so then i said "Sir, (and by Sir I do mean very old man,) I says;  Sir did you know Jesus?"

Eleese86 (7:43:48 PM): guess wuttttt
AngelBaby2142 (7:43:57 PM): tell me
AngelBaby2142 (7:43:59 PM): no wait
AngelBaby2142 (7:44:01 PM): lemme guess
Eleese86 (7:44:04 PM): lol ok
AngelBaby2142 (7:44:31 PM): the 5th dentist caved in and now there all reccomending trident?

[Since I turned prude, Bobby teases me]
uR mA iS hOt [8:36 PM]:  wanna come over and fuck 
uR mA iS hOt [8:36 PM]:  by fuck i mean play solitare
 
After a joke..
uR mA iS hOt [8:39 PM]:  o man thats a good one holy shit
uR mA iS hOt [8:39 PM]:  cant stop laughing
Eleese86 [8:39 PM]:  haha shut up  
 uR mA iS hOt [8:39 PM]:  i was kidding thats code for i want u right now on a pull out couch

[Morgan.. definantly one of the funniest kids in the world]
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:35:59 PM): and im bored out of my mind now 
Eleese86 (8:36:01 PM): dont b upset about it.. theres other fish in the fish market
Eleese86 (8:36:08 PM): want me to tell u a story
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:36:59 PM): lol all ure storys end with u having sex those dont help
 
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:40:39 PM): yea  but its just me saying that   lonely little ugly kid 
Eleese86 (8:41:15 PM): i love you and were guna get married
Eleese86 (8:41:26 PM): cuz statutory rape is cool..
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:41:48 PM): lol   i c so u want me to go to jail 
Eleese86 (8:42:33 PM): 15 will get ya 20!
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:43:11 PM): yea  unless im good there and i get along with the other inmates 
 
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:47:30 PM): ] i gotta find sumtint o do to get my mind off this 
Eleese86 (8:47:37 PM): yeh... smoke sum crack!
Eleese86 (8:47:40 PM): its good for the soul
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (8:48:43 PM): but thats after i snort a line of angel dust 
 

[Stephan....]
zLIM sHA dY 1 [3:40 PM]:  if i stuck a cucumber in my lil bros ass, is he still a virgin ?

Ryan Santoriello talking about if he worked as a cashier
Ryan: I could never sit at the cash thingy and do nothing, i don't have the patient with old people going, "I have a coupen!" I'd be like fuck you!! i don't give a shit..

Bobby: How cool would it be to stick my dick in a vacuum. .
[The Vacuum cleaner turns on]

HaRdKn0cK0uT (8:57:27 PM): and i have a ball sack
Eleese86 (8:57:38 PM): hermaphrodite......
HaRdKn0cK0uT (8:58:25 PM): if i knew how to read i'd have a come back right about .....now ________                        

[Father Plunkett and Sister Schein]
Eleese86 [10:26 PM]:  but without suffering... wut would life be?  
Eleese86 [10:26 PM]:  woah someone slap me.. im preaching  
Brihoky16 [10:27 PM]:  i'm gonna preach 
Brihoky16 [10:27 PM]:  here we go 
Eleese86 [10:27 PM]:  PRAISE THE LORDDDD  
Brihoky16 [10:28 PM]:  hell is everything that is bad, life is an equilibrium between good and evil (aka hell and heaven), and heaven is everything that is good
Brihoky16 [10:28 PM]:  some people have heaven on earth
Brihoky16 [10:28 PM]:  and i have hell on earth
Eleese86 [10:28 PM]:  AMEN!  
Brihoky16 [10:29 PM]:  i don't think just bc ur alive doesn't mean that u r goin through life...i could be goin through hell and then i go to life and then heaven
Brihoky16 [10:29 PM]:  there is 3 stages
Eleese86 [10:29 PM]:  PRAISE THE LORDDDDDDDDDD  
Brihoky16 [10:29 PM]:  the lord sucks

Brihoky16 [6:58 PM]:  hold up can i call ya...my fingers hurt
Eleese86 [6:58 PM]:  yeh lol  
Brihoky16 [6:58 PM]:  what was that
Brihoky16 [6:58 PM]:  -my fingers hurt" 
Brihoky16 [6:59 PM]:  "well now ur backs gonna hurt, cuz u just pulled landscapin duty"
Brihoky16 [6:59 PM]:  "does anyone elses fingers hurt....didn't think so"

[Joe Conlon... this kids great]
laxX 6902 [4:25 PM]:  aww allison
Eleese86 [4:25 PM]:  hahahaha lol NOT MY NAME  
Eleese86 [4:25 PM]:  :(  
laxX 6902 [4:25 PM]:  y not
laxX 6902 [4:25 PM]:  u look like an allison
Eleese86 [4:25 PM]:  u look like a retard but i dunt call u that  
Eleese86 [4:25 PM]:  jk i love u lol  
laxX 6902 [4:26 PM]:  oo geez
laxX 6902 [4:26 PM]:  u look a kid with a.d.d h.i.v and down syndrome and u ont c me complaining

HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:43:24 PM): you know whats fucked up
Eleese86 (7:43:43 PM): ?
HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:43:46 PM): naming your kid Colon....like hey Colon Powel
HaRdKn0cK0uT (7:43:57 PM): he must have been a real assshole growing up

Kyle..
Auto response from N adidas Y (7:40:39 PM): pb&j i think it explains itself....

[Bobby talking about Hockey practice]
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:21:43 PM): he sprinted us the whole time though
Eleese86 (11:22:01 PM): did u think of meeeeee
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:22:10 PM): no i thought of water

[Asking me what I did that night. . .]
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:32:10 PM): did u drink
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:32:13 PM): apple juice
Eleese86 (11:32:28 PM): haha o yes
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:32:51 PM): ok now seriously did u drink
Eleese86 (11:33:19 PM): nahh
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:33:49 PM): y not
Eleese86 (11:34:16 PM): duno.. didnt feel like gettin raped by a million guys.. when im drunk, im extremely horny
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:34:37 PM): yo come over i got some beer in the fridge

[About my sweet sixteen]
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:47:25 PM): is frank sinatra gonna be there
Eleese86 (11:48:11 PM): yup :-) and elvis
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:48:45 PM): noooooooo
Eleese86 (11:48:52 PM): wuts wrongg
Ur Ma Is HoT (11:49:11 PM): elvis is dead silly how can he be there

I was reading Lord of the Flies and answering questions and using Maggie to help me. One of the questions was, "How did Ralph react to the  killing of the pig?"
Maggie: I wish i could remember but all i thought about was mmm BACON!!

Me and Maggie were laying outside tanning (atleast trying to) and Maggie brought chocolate outside with her.
Maggie: Eww.. that's not chocolate
Me: What are you talking about?
Maggie: I think i just ate a stick..

Katelyn was doing the crosswords on the Froot Loops box..
Katie, to herself : What is the main ingredient in Lemonade?
Me: Ugh.. lemons?
Katie: Wow.. these are a lot easier than the ones in the newspaper..

[I IMed Chunga singing "If I Get Locked Up Tonight" by Eminem and he thought I had the wrong IM]
RaYBeEZ 67: u have sum weird sadistic shit lol
RaYBeEZ 67: ur liek i will smother in my own pain!
(Which I had recently taken off my profile that read, " will i be smothered in my own pain?)
Eleese86: profile memorizer!
RaYBeEZ 67: good i am a profile memorize but sad thing is whe nu grow up ur gonna be 1 fo those ppl who wear black all the time nd they dont liek the sun nd whne u have sex ur gona be like TALK DIRTY TO ME! tell me im a fucking  worthles piece of shit!
Eleese86: who says that?!!?
RaYBeEZ 67: lol i can picture it... u nd ur whips nd cages
Eleese86: hand cuffs!!
RaYBeEZ 67: yes yes nd that weird string thingy that has balls nd u stick it up ppls twats or ases
RaYBeEZ 67: oh that will be ur fave toy
Eleese86: lmao... wtf r u talkin aboutt.. ive never heard about thatt onee
RaYBeEZ 67: look i have a diagramd
RaYBeEZ 67:
o-o-o-o---
Eleese86: ur sick
 
 

RaYBeEZ 67: i feel liek such a 1 wonder when i look at ur webpage... its like 1 of those mtv shows bout those ppl who make 1 hit nd thne they're gone.. lol thats how i feel
RaYBeEZ 67: i can relate to their pain..

[Bobby on the phone]
Bobby: What the fuck do they do with all that food on the cooking channel?
Me: i duno.. I guesss they eat it..
Bobby: Cause they're cooking it.. and all of a sudden . . VOILA! its done! i don't get it..

Anthony Seedorf...
TonyS660: im goin to take a shower ill talk to you once im cleansed
Eleese86: IMPOSSIBLE
Eleese86: hahaha
Auto response from TonyS660: doing somethin alyse never thought i could
 

TonyS660: you went to bermuda and came back white
Eleese86: hahahha
TonyS660: who does that
Eleese86: haha the irishmenn
TonyS660: its unfortunate

[Erica on the fone , damn Boriquas]
Me: Yellow
Erica: Green!
Me: Bluee!
Erica: Sacramento!!!!
Me: Uhmm.. yeah that's not a color . .

[Erica again... on the fone]
Erica: Imagine you were Puerto Rican and -
Me: I'd kill myself
Erica: You didn't even let me finish!
Me: haha

[After playing basketball in Global with Erica]
GLiTtErQt143 [4:01 PM]:  dm dm dm (motion to shoot bball) jordan fades back  . . .swooosh and thats the gameeeeeeeee !
 
Eleese86 [4:05 PM]:  guesss   wut time it iss
GLiTtErQt143 [4:05 PM]:  lol :)
GLiTtErQt143 [4:05 PM]:  wut timee.
GLiTtErQt143 [4:05 PM]:  SHOWER TIME!
GLiTtErQt143 [4:05 PM]:  ill get the perfume
 

[Love from the best friend!]Danielle Berkowitz
PhAt AsZ: boo!
Mochachik4u18:whos this?
PhAt AsZ: alyseee
Mochachik4u18: its spelt FAT
Mochachik4u18: u illerate freak

Danielle - ya gotta love her
Mochachik4u18 [6:31 PM]:  alyse if i have a homepage
Mochachik4u18 [6:31 PM]:  n iwant 2 add links how do i do that
after explainging shit to her . .
Mochachik4u18 [6:38 PM]:  i want a quotes page..thats y im doin a home page 
Mochachik4u18 [6:38 PM]:  CUZ I WANT 2 BE LIKE U

[Ron LaSerra . . i swear i didn't mean it that way]
BlazinLaxPlaya [6:01 PM]:  hey
Auto response from Eleese86 [6:01 PM]: shower n shitt - goin to see my baby baby ;) hit me up if u need anythanq* x0 
BlazinLaxPlaya [6:02 PM]:  eww ur showering and taking a shit thats pretty fucken nasty
BlazinLaxPlaya [6:02 PM]:  pretty discriptive away msg...

[Seasame Street Obviously didn't work for Bobby]
Me: I'm way to nice - guess how much money i gave my friend
Bobby: you probably
A) either feel really bad for her
2) steal her boyfriend or
C) your a lesbian
Me: Wow... way to know your alphabet

Bobby's away message - he calls me Allison for some messed up reason
Auto response from Ur Ma Is HoT (12:00:12 AM): scavenger hunt for an air conditioner and phone wit the one and only allison :-D

Ur Ma Is HoT (12:05:21 AM): im trying to turn my room into a miniture version of the north pole i got 2 air conditioners pumpin and 3 super fans on full blast and a nice red pole in the middle... only other things i need 1) penguins 2) santa clause and it will be complete

[Me and Nivey talking about boyfriends]
ShadyTripChick (4:02:10 PM): lol i just want a nice boyfriend lol
Eleese86 (4:02:15 PM): haha same hereeee
Eleese86 (4:02:23 PM): they dont exist tho!
ShadyTripChick (4:02:24 PM): i wish there was liek a store

[Best movie ever...Old School]Kyle Price
Nad   I   dasY (8:01:08 PM): everybodys doin it
Eleese86 (8:01:15 PM): haha STREAKINGGGG
Nad   I   dasY (8:01:23 PM): hay hunny do you think kfc still open

[Why I love drunk people ..]
TonyS660 (11:49:11 PM): i drankl; liike    8  cups tnoghbit im waitsted
TonyS660 (11:50:35 PM): hahahah shes wasd tr ramlbine in on like a g funk nigga
TonyS660 (11:52:52 PM): i need you
TonyS660 (11:52:59 PM): more thten anyonbee darleying
TonyS660 (11:55:04 PM): then yiour 7134 numberk bttoch

[Jerry Cervasio recently had a keg party, so he two wayed me and my parents heard about the keg]
My mom called the next morning..
Mommy: So how was Keith's house last night?
Me: It was okay..
Mommy: You would of had a better time at Jerry's.. but then again you wouldn't remember what you did that night - so let's leave it at " I had fun, Mom"

Eleese86(12:30:02): i love dave!!!
StillMaticEther9 (12:30:48 PM): so give dave head

Anthony Seedorf...i love him
TonyS660 (3:05:00 PM): just when i thought it was schein time you gotta pull this shower bullshit

Jenna and me... talking about boyss
Jemz720 (3:17:13 PM): nooo u got men flockin to u like u had boobs all over ur body

[Bobby...unfortunetly stating the brutally honest facts]
Ur Ma Is HoT (2:04:55 PM): ugliest penis ever
Eleese86 (2:04:58 PM): haha overshare
Ur Ma Is HoT (2:05:17 PM): wat do u mean overshare it was in ur mouth

Pick up lines with Arpino..  
Eleese86 [10:32 PM]:  i like ur pants..  
Eleese86 [10:32 PM]:  wut time do they open?  
StillMaticEther9 [10:32 PM]:  oh u aint know girl
StillMaticEther9 [10:32 PM]:  them shits like 7-11

[Eric Wright after being upset that hes not on the QP] 
SNyPeS17 [10:26 PM]:  hi
Eleese86 [10:26 PM]:  hiiiiii  
SNyPeS17 [10:26 PM]:  qp

[Sal Kazalski..]
Auto response from PipeLayinSquince (2:17:23 PM): just when u think u have found true love ur girlfriends little brother calls you and tells u his sister is making grilled cheese with bacon behind your back...

[John Neumeyer.. i give him an A for effort]
dakidx12 (12:59:52 AM): will that go on the quote page?
Eleese86 (12:59:56 AM): hahaaha
dakidx12 (1:00:36 AM): i've tried so hard....for so long
Eleese86 (1:00:49 AM): ahahah awww
dakidx12 (1:01:02 AM): haha....you're the best!!!

[JL and Lee - the hottest new band.. haha]
beachbabii147 (5:30:22 PM): hey babe
Eleese86 (5:30:28 PM): hey ma
Eleese86 (5:30:31 PM): wassuppppppp
Eleese86 (5:30:34 PM): lol good song
beachbabii147 (5:31:32 PM): lets slide ight
beachbabii147 (5:32:24 PM): o we are good lol
Eleese86 (5:32:34 PM): we shud start a band lol
 
Me and Ella littered at the mall and I felt bad
Ella: Lee, seriously.. don't feel bad - think of it as 'feeding the homeless'
Me: I feel better..considering theres SO MANY HOMELESS PEOPLE IN SMITHTOWN!!

After Ella and I went swimming, we were going out.. so we took a shower together ( with bathingsuits on..)
Dead Silence..
Ella: Your soap kicks ass!

Ella, Eric Wright, Emily Heath and I are at Emily's house
Eric starts jumping on Emily's diving board - which happens to be made out of a rock
Ella: Eric, it's not a real diving board...(whispers to herself) asshole..

Ella and I were going out to get pizza.. so we arrive at the pizza place to discover the whole place smells like Bleach and Mr.Clean
Random Guy: Do you guys smell that?
Ella and Me: Yeah... it smells like Chlorox
Guy: Yeah well, thats probably the sauce

Since my friends love me so much - my warning level is always like 500%
StillMaticEther9 (5:27:15 PM): i neever i would see this day
StillMaticEther9 (5:27:28 PM): the day alyses warning level is down to zero percent

While Sam Lazar is reading my Oh-So-Famous QP..
AqUaChiCa6 (10:27:55 PM): haha seedorf is so funny
AqUaChiCa6 (10:27:56 PM): lol
AqUaChiCa6 (10:28:07 PM): just thought ud like to know about ur friends that i stalk

A day in the life of Sam and Alyse.. our list of things we did for the day
1)Ate 2)Slept 3) Watched movies 4)Talked about sex 5)Ate 6)Movie 7) Talked about sex (again) 8)Ate 9)More sex talk..10)Movie!11)Mmm.. sex talk..
Interesting lives, right?

Finally possible for a Mick to tan .. yes!!
TonyS660 (11:09:26 PM): what you do tonight
Eleese86 (11:09:36 PM): i went on my friend boat - I GOT A TAN!!
TonyS660 (11:09:44 PM): BULLSHIT

StillMaticEther9 (4:05:32 PM): aight well i'm out like alyse in a "lets get a tan" contest

On the phone with Ella and online with her at the same time..
Ella(talking): Call me
SpasianTease(typing): Murtal
SpasianTease: shhhh the phones tapped!
Ella: Don't say names!!

Ella singing...
Ella: Just gimme the light and pass the Joe..
Me:umm... Dro?
Ella: That's what i meant.. im asian!!!

Walking out of my room while im depressed..
Ella: I'll be right back.. I'm going to go find you a helmet...

StillMaticEther9 (11:31:50 PM): alright i need to talk to you
Eleese86 (11:31:54 PM): ight go aheaddd
StillMaticEther9 (11:31:55 PM): i am on a drought
StillMaticEther9 (11:32:02 PM): i havent been on the QP in a hot minute
StillMaticEther9 (11:34:58 PM): you know what the best is
StillMaticEther9 (11:35:03 PM): wen u put people on the quote page
StillMaticEther9 (11:35:13 PM): like i'll be reading down the shit
Eleese86 (11:35:15 PM): hahah lolol
StillMaticEther9 (11:35:17 PM): like oooh wen did i say  that

Joe...((initials=JMAC))
laX    x69    02 (11:35:02 PM): mines jmcc
Eleese86 (11:35:10 PM): no its not lol
laX    x69    02 (11:35:19 PM): yea
laX    x69    02 (11:35:39 PM): joe mike chris conlon
laX    x69    02 (11:36:01 PM): i said it was jmac so u would think i was cool.. now i just feel like a loser

Auto response from StillMaticEther9 (11:50:30 PM): WOW I SAY THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT AND I CANT EVEN MAKE THE QP, I'M GOING TO FIND A DITCH THAT I CAN BURRY MYSELF IN... BYE!

Eleese86 (11:55:50 PM): im a lil depressed right now
laX    x69    02 (11:56:03 PM): yea u realized everyone is using u for the QP?
 
My Little Cousins were staying the night.. and there are like 8 of them.. so my brother, my older cousin Mike and Ella were all watching them..
Eric: Alright kids, today's lesson is drugs.. do them.. theyre great - youll be popular.. i promise... now its time for Apple Juice Pong

Eleese86 (3:02:14 PM): i have an idea
SNyPeS17 (3:02:40 PM): oh thats one in a lifetime

[In the car with my mom and Steph Maffia after Drivers Ed.]
Listening to "All I Have" by Jennifer Lopez and LL Cool J
My Mom: Bitch.. leave that man babygirl.. He's got AIDS!
 
My mom, again: Ohh shit, its all about the hood, and the po-po...

[Random phone call.. meanwhile i have caller ID showing Joe's name]
Kyle in disguise: Who tha fuck you think you is? Callin' me dis late..Biotch..WHO THA FUCK YOU THINK YOU IS?
Joe, coming from nowhere: QUOTES PAGE!! THATS QUOTES PAGE!!

[Someone said my name, and Robb Heath said he didn't know me]
Eleese 86 (1:54:40 PM): wuts with that?! u dun kno me now??
STO2477 (1:54:53 PM): ohhhhh
STO2477 (1:54:54 PM): hahah
STO2477 (1:54:57 PM): wow thats funny
STO2477 (1:55:03 PM): i couldnt pronounce ur name thats why

Danielle and I were looking at pictures..
Me: Danielle, how old was Ryan again? Hahaha
Danielle: 25
Me: Haha, That's not right..
Danielle: What nationality is Caleb again??
Me: (faint whisper) . . . Mexican

I was sleeping over Danielle's house and she had a rash from lifeguarding in the Chlorine all day.. so she whips out the rash cream
Me: Breaking out the Herpes Cream?
Danielle: It's for my rash!!
:: Reaches into her pants::
Me:  I TOLD YOU IT WAS HERPES CREAM!!

Saying goodbye "peas" meaning peace..
Eleese8    6(11:29:47): peasss
Ghettochild40oz (11:30:01 PM): and CORN
Ghettochild40oz (11:30:02 PM): sorry
Eleese8    6 (11:30:03 PM): HAHAHA
Eleese8    6 (11:30:05 PM): lolololol
Ghettochild40oz (11:30:06 PM): forget i said that

TonyS660 (7:23:18 PM): breaking up w/ a boyfriend can be a very tough thing, see i never had a regular girlfriend like you but i did get kicked in the balls once by a mule, now i thought my balls would be hurten for the rest of my life but you no what happened that very next week....my mama died..... after that i didnt care about my balls hurten no more
TonyS660 (7:27:21 PM): haha nah im just playen w/ you you spoke to my mom last week
TonyS660 (7:28:07 PM): and when have i ever been near a mule
TonyS660 (7:28:25 PM): cmon alyse if theres somthin you can jump into or out of i suggest you do it

Me and Kyle have this inside joke with Dane Cook (( the comedian)) and he does this stand up thing called " Christ Chex"
N adidaS   y (7:27:58 PM): peace to the lord my pece i go my peae to you as we ate reccies pecces with the pewacful lord
E Leese86 (7:28:24 PM): ITS A MIRACLE IN A BOX
N adidaS   y (7:28:26 PM): life is beatiful
N adidaS   y (7:31:15 PM): christ chex
N adidaS   y (7:31:22 PM): lil angle flys out
N adidaS   y (7:31:25 PM): good morning
 
Mm.. smart kid..
N adidaS   y (7:31:50 PM): where r the chicks
E Leese86 (7:31:56 PM): aisle 7
N adidaS   y (7:32:01 PM): ah
N adidaS   y (7:32:01 PM): 5
E Leese86 (7:32:03 PM): damn it lol
N adidaS   y (7:32:09 PM): off by 3
E Leese86 (7:32:11 PM): or 2
N adidaS   y (7:32:13 PM): oh yeah

Chris Rosenman is Oh-So-Gangsta
ghettowhiteboy31 (11:55:01 PM): This night too familiar.  DETROITT
Your voice still the same MURDA
Your body just as beautiful
The story remains GANGSTA
This life is too long to live with regret.
Apologizing never comes as easy as planned YO YO
Lying is so simple. We learned out first hand
Its too bad.  WHAT
We had the chance, we blew it
You denied everything WOOF WOFF
Its so hard to be in love with a dream
And your voice is so soft.
Cuts like a knife.
But were fine to you.
Best friends fall in love, at least one of the two
Neither of us know where this is going,
Please just keep me in mind
As the one that cared.
It will be a while. MEOW DETROIT
Ill be sitting here thinking of the times we shared
Reminiscing. My fake smile

i just added the things in caps. for your gangster likings

Some people will do anything..
GLiTtErQt143 (5:20:00 PM): so im walking out of this bar, and i see this blind man, and hes all "what are you looking at" and im like something you cant seeee.
GLiTtErQt143 (5:20:02 PM): ba dum chh
GLiTtErQt143 (5:20:06 PM): :-( wow i suck.

Ahh.. he's so mean..
TonyS660 (11:45:34 PM): so you worken tomorow?
Eleese86 (11:45:42 PM): nah finally lol
TonyS660 (11:45:47 PM): finally
TonyS660 (11:45:50 PM): you worked 2 days
TonyS660 (11:45:54 PM): you fucken pansey
 
Eleese86 (11:46:08 PM): i did alot of work today!!
TonyS660 (11:46:18 PM): hahaha alot of work at the rinx
TonyS660 (11:46:32 PM): thats like sayin it takes alot to get in your pants

Auto response from ghettowhiteboy31: What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor, cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a lil bit of money?

Eleese  86 (4:27:34 PM): me without u is like a hooker with no luck, a hoe that dont suck and a slut that dont fuck..
StillMaticEther9 (4:27:51 PM): me without you is like blunts with no weed
Eleese  86 (4:28:00 PM): so sweet <33
StillMaticEther9 (4:28:25 PM): yes we have a very different kind of love, most people dont thinking cock sucking is romantic, but we do

Freestyling with Dave.. haha.. good shit.
StillMaticEther9 (8:08:30 PM): diamonds rings and things i wont buy no, even if she turned puerto rican from albino
StillMaticEther9 (8:11:27 PM): i want her to suck my cock contrary to what most say, and some of these lyrics better make it to the quote page
StillMaticEther9 (8:18:55 PM): her body is tasty like a temptation joint, and her skin color is WHITE! with and exclamation point
StillMaticEther9 (8:21:07 PM): and if alyse wasnt sexy i'd get another hoe to use her, but her lyrics come out mad slow like a retard on a motor scooter
StillMaticEther9 (8:22:07 PM): imagine if alyse stood right next to me, she rhymes slower then a narcaleptic on extacy
Eleese  86 (8:22:41 PM): so im a slow as a retard learnin hooked on phonics.. im so black  i look thru the yellow pages for "ebonics"
StillMaticEther9 (8:31:29 PM): i mean i'll tell her i love her but i wont give her no c notes, me not gettin ass is like alyse not givin deep throat
StillMaticEther9 (8:33:54 PM): alyse wanna get with me? in a waste in dreamin, only time she'll touch me is wen she taste my semen
Eleese  86 (8:35:02 PM): all dave rhymes about is me bein a slut...suckin him off like id give a spleen nd a gut
StillMaticEther9 (8:36:09 PM): rollin with me alyse would have to turn trouble some, she'll be givin so much head she'll have to get her stomach pumped
 
 

Mm.. Dave and Anthony - amazing Duo
Eleese  86 (8:48:48 PM): haha this kid anthony called - hes like.. i like that kid dave.. me nd him dominate the qp
Eleese  86 (8:48:50 PM): haha i know lol
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:14 PM): i know im readin the qp
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:18 PM): this nigga nice with it
Eleese  86 (8:50:21 PM): haha yeahh
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:33 PM): he some competition
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:37 PM): but me and him working together
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:40 PM): we can outshine
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:45 PM): all them other wanna bes
StillMaticEther9 (8:50:53 PM): we get a quote up there every week
StillMaticEther9 (8:51:03 PM): everybody else like yea watever come and go like MC Hammer

AqUaChiCa6 [10:26 PM]:  hey babes im sitting here havin no life again n readin ur quotes page n even tho im not very down with the whole smithtown-i think im black-thing ... yours is so much funnier then danielle...hers sucks

RaYBeEZ 38 (11:41:31 PM): ok u know those ladies who pray all the tiem nd they're married to god or w/e wut r they called
RaYBeEZ 38 (11:41:47 PM): i keep thinkng priest but thats for boys
Eleese  86 (11:42:01 PM): nuns?
Eleese  86 (11:42:14 PM): the jewish girl helps out ;-)
RaYBeEZ 38 (11:42:15 PM): haha thats how u know ur religious when a jew knows more
Auto response from RaYBeEZ 38 (11:46:14 PM): wow rita like tortured my nose... lol it was like an episode of nipuck... i seriously feel like i jsut had a nose job... [nd i love alyse cuz shes jewish but yet keeps up with other religious u go girll.. lol] brb

Anthony bitching that i signed off without telling him..
TonyS660 (6:29:32 PM): left me once
TonyS660 (6:29:35 PM): you'll do it again
Eleese  86 (6:30:15 PM): haha nah
TonyS660 (6:30:32 PM): god i hate u
TonyS660 (6:30:38 PM): w/ all my heart
TonyS660 (6:30:58 PM): my away message is to you\
Eleese  86 (6:31:03 PM): lemme see
Auto response from TonyS660 (6:31:03 PM): Now go to sleep bitch
Die, Motherfucker, die
Uh, times up bitch, close your eyes
Go to sleep bitch (what!)
Why are you still alive?
How many times, I gotta say close your eyes
And go to sleep bitch (what!)
Die, motherfucker, die...bye, bye motherfucker, bye ahh

Eleese  86 (6:31:07 PM): I HATE YOU
TonyS660 (6:31:26 PM): feelings mutual
TonyS660 signed off at 6:31:30 PM.

The Second try....a little bit better..
GLiTtErQt143 (8:12:11 PM): so...the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on their face"

Haha.. James Morgan still thinks i got a second job (prostitution)
Auto response from E l e e s e 8 6 (10:27:07 PM): out* hit my shit if u need me (( 252 6780 )) x0
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (10:27:07 PM): how can i hit ure shit  when ure out   isnt contact involved in that  lol
 

Ben Carpenter ... haha i love alki's..
Auto response from xceptedeclectic7 (12:21:00 AM):
I pledge allegiance to the bottle, the cup and the can
In front of the bar, that's where I stand
And to the alcohol, for which I fall
and the cold porcelain in the bathroom stall
One drunk nation under God inebriated
with liberty and justice to anyone who's faded
Drink drink drunk until I can't hack it
Until the little man fall off the horse on my Polo jacket
 

August 14th, Me and my mom were celebrating for personal reasons so she decided to take me into the city.. little did we know, there would be a huge black out. We had to stay the night walking around aimlessly and eventually going to my Uncle's house in Downtown Manhatten... In the morning we made my dad pick us up in Queens
As I get in the car..
Daddy: Alyse, before Danielle( my best friend)  has a heart-attack, call her...
 
Anthony... haha
TonyS660 (10:59:06 AM): ur home
E l e e s e 8 6 (10:59:14 AM): juss got home!!
E l e e s e 8 6 (10:59:32 AM): anthony it was horrible :-\
TonyS660 (10:59:40 AM): alyse
TonyS660 (10:59:43 AM): a wise man once said
TonyS660 (10:59:58 AM): if the electricity on the entire east coast goes up
TonyS660 (11:00:07 AM): lets get fucken high
TonyS660 (11:00:12 AM): that wise man was jason
 
 

Me and Ben Carpenter were talking about nationalities since I'm pretty much everything except Italian and Spanish..
xceptedeclectic7 (12:52:06 AM): u african too
Eleese86 (12:52:10 AM): oh yeahh
Eleese86 (12:52:12 AM): cant u tell?
xceptedeclectic7 (12:52:17 AM): sometimes

Eleese86 (1:12:33 AM): anthony seedorf once convinced me that lemons and limes were the same fruit
Eleese86 (1:12:35 AM): lolol
xceptedeclectic7 (1:12:38 AM): haha
xceptedeclectic7 (1:13:00 AM): i put lemon on stuff but i dont eat em raw
Eleese86 (1:13:06 AM): ohh
xceptedeclectic7 (1:13:08 AM): i used to  drink lemon juice tho
Eleese86 (1:13:10 AM): i eat them with sugar on it
xceptedeclectic7 (1:13:13 AM): lord knows why
xceptedeclectic7 (1:13:31 AM): i also used to eat butter and soap tho so
Eleese86 (1:13:40 AM): hhahahahahaha
xceptedeclectic7 (1:13:58 AM): lifes unanswered mysteries

My PIMP..
Eleese86 (1:32:43 AM): which brings me to my next conclusion
Eleese86 (1:32:48 AM): dont smoke crack
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (1:33:14 AM): ill smoke all the crack i want....... u pay for it   hey wait  wheres my money?????
Eleese86 (1:33:38 AM): ahahaha
Eleese86 (1:33:40 AM): tomorrow!!!
Eleese86 (1:33:42 AM): money tomorrow!!
PuCkEdUpGoaLiE30 (1:34:22 AM): better be more than usual   other wise  the 1...2 combo is coming... might need to teach u a lesson with the magic stick

Ella and I went into CVS to visit James Morgan...after we left he called my cell phone..
Morgan: Why were you at CVS twice?
Me: What are you talking about?
Morgan: My manager said he saw some huchi- looking girl in here, and I figured it was just you.
Me: Aww, how fucking sweet of you..
 
Morgan just called..
Morgan: Alyse....Alyse???
Me: Can you hear me now?( Like the commercial)
Morgan: Good....

Kevin Corey calls me randomly at around 12:30am for his status update
Kevin: So.. I can't believe this girl did that to me
Me: I know.. hold up, i gotta beep..
(( I pick up the beep..))
Me: Hello?
Adam Misolen: Heyy cutieee
Me: Hii, I can't talk, Kev's on the phone
Adam: Haha, Alyse - I'm sitting next to him, you're so smart..
Me: Ahh, the mind games haha

I was driving with my daddy and we were listening to my new found " skater" music..
( Decisions by The Starting Line was playing )
Daddy: This music makes me want to play Tony Hawk..
 
 

Joey Chiomastro..my boss's son trying to talk to me about girls and how "far i've gone"..
ShieldsCenter92 (10:37:41 PM): never with like jus sume1 to fool around with rite?
Eleese86 (10:37:55 PM): well...actually...
ShieldsCenter92 (10:38:02 PM): i thought u werent a hoor
 
Inside joke with me and the Cafe ( where I work) about how I like a different guy every week..
ShieldsCenter92 (10:40:25 PM): so wut guys u like from the cafe this week?
Eleese86 (10:40:40 PM): no one...
ShieldsCenter92 (10:40:48 PM): bull shyt

I love my eric :)
Eleese86 (3:37:55 PM): mayb ill have him drop me off in east bumblefuck for a lil so i can see u and embrace u
SNyPeS17 (3:38:17 PM): east bumblefuck???
Eleese86 (3:38:29 PM): medford is east bummble fuck
SNyPeS17 (3:38:29 PM): i think its west bumblefuck
Eleese86 (3:38:36 PM): no no.. from me its def east
SNyPeS17 (3:39:02 PM): ok ass mo i was just tryin to make a joke

Eleese86 (3:46:41 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :: plph ::
SNyPeS17 (3:47:16 PM): wat
Eleese86 (3:47:25 PM): plph.... sound it out
SNyPeS17 (3:47:41 PM): u farted?
Eleese86 (3:48:30 PM): no but thanks for asking

LeeZ SpittiN DiS (3:53:56 PM): i want my mitchapalooooooooooooza to call me nd b like " i love you" that would juss make my day
:: As the phone rings ::
Ella, disguised: Hey Alyse, it's Mitchapaloooooza, i love you
SpasianTease (3:54:39 PM): QP?!
SpasianTease (3:54:51 PM): QP!!

Anthony Signoretti...
Eleese86: O:-)
BlazinHockyPlaya: yea ok haha

How me and Ben first met, Uptown 2 years ago..
xceptedeclectic7 (7:01:13 PM): you chillin in smithtown
Eleese86 (7:01:19 PM):  yeahh
xceptedeclectic7 (7:01:20 PM): is anybody gonna be up there
Eleese86 (7:01:26 PM): not sure
xceptedeclectic7 (7:01:40 PM): i wish it was like old times up there
xceptedeclectic7 (7:01:45 PM): like two years ago
Eleese86 (7:01:51 PM): yeahhh lol it was great then
xceptedeclectic7 (7:01:53 PM): that shit was ill
Eleese86 (7:01:57 PM): hah yeahh
xceptedeclectic7 (7:02:13 PM): i was always gettin hammered and shit
xceptedeclectic7 (7:02:23 PM): .. wait i still do that
xceptedeclectic7 (7:02:36 PM): yea u kno it
xceptedeclectic7 (7:02:42 PM): i met u up there
xceptedeclectic7 (7:02:50 PM): i couldnt remember ur name
Eleese86 (7:02:59 PM): hahaha i remember!!
xceptedeclectic7 (7:03:53 PM): yea i asked u it like forty times
Eleese86 (7:04:04 PM): nd u were drunk everytime lol
xceptedeclectic7 (7:04:16 PM): and u had a necklace wit ur name on it
xceptedeclectic7 (7:04:19 PM): yea
Eleese86 (7:04:20 PM): hahaha yeahh!!!

At work with Andrew Gallo, Jay Staake and Chris Gomez..
Gallo walks in on time after calling in sick the day before..
Jay: Way to be early..you're fired!
Gallo: Um... okay..
Gomez: Wait, Jay.. what happened to mutual firing
Jay: You're right... 1...2..3...
Gomez and Jay ( same time): YOU'RE FIRED!

Auto response from StillMaticEther9 (8:19:35 PM): reading "Democracy In America" its a 400 page book, i would like to fucking know how u can have 400 pages on fucking democracy in america, i can some that shit up in about a sentence... everybody votes for gore, but then the people in florida dont know how to punch holes, and we end up with that faggot bitch hick george bush, its very simple
 
In Chem with Jess Keller..
We were doing questions and shit and one of them was about Radiant Energy
Jess, to the theme of "Maniac by some gay people: I'm Radiant!! RAADDIIAANTTTT!
Me: Umm Jess, haha it's 'Maniac'

Auto response from Eleese86 (9:20:35 PM): hmmm... fone with dubz? yes yes i love that kid.. soo muchh <33 we tighter then a 3rd grade girl :-D
StillMaticEther9 (9:20:42 PM): unless she came across R. Kellys path

Eleese86: heyyy
TonyS660: hey
About 15-20 minutes later
Tonys660: ok.. ill make the first move
Tonys660: whats up
 

Me: Oh my God!! Daddy! Guiness comes in a bottle now!!
Daddy: I know, haha that'll put hair on your chest in no time..
Me: hahaha nice...
Daddy: If you don't throw up the first time you drink it, you definitely an alcoholic...
 
Kevin Corey and Anthony .. hah
GlNZ016 (3:08:04 PM): www.castinshadows.vze.com
GlNZ016 (3:08:06 PM): go there mo fo
TonyS660 (3:08:16 PM): is it gay porn
GlNZ016 (3:08:26 PM): its my band bro
TonyS660 (3:08:54 PM) : good

TonyS660 (3:20:06 PM): your gettin lessons from god  himself and nothin
Eleese86 (3:20:17 PM): hahahahahaha lol can i be jesus if ur god
Eleese86 (3:20:20 PM): im ur student
TonyS660 (3:20:27 PM): no jesus was a man
TonyS660 (3:20:31 PM): and you dont even no that
TonyS660 (3:20:36 PM): im sending you to hell

Bobby -> haha i love this kid
URMa I sHOt (10:33:35 AM): i got headaches and im nautious
URMa I sHOt (10:33:40 AM): i think i have my .
Eleese86 (10:34:04 AM): do u feel fat?
URMa I sHOt (10:34:10 AM): no
Eleese86 (10:34:20 AM): then its not ur "."
URMa I sHOt (10:34:31 AM): oo ok good
URMa I sHOt (10:34:37 AM): wait that means im late
URMa I sHOt (10:34:40 AM): nooooooooooooooooo
 
URMa I sHOt (10:30:29 AM): blahhh
Eleese86 (10:30:38 AM): blahh
URMa I sHOt (10:30:46 AM): rable rabble rabble
Eleese86 (10:30:49 AM): hahahaha
Eleese86 (10:31:02 AM): we have some pretty interestng/intelligent convos
 

 
Auto response from Eleese86 (6:36:11 PM): mm Smithtown vs. St. Anthony's.. 920 at the rinx, be there ;-)
"Hockey players make incredible lovers. Their strong hip flexors and tight abdominal muscles help maintain a rhythm that women enjoy."
          - Playboy Magazine (< - jacked from Kyle Price, thanks)
ironlung 1888 (6:36:11 PM): whut u doin readin playboy lol

Ben Carpebter on the phone, talking about my sweet 16
Me: yeah i had it at the wyndham wind watch
Ben: ohhhh true
Me: Where'd you have your sweet 16
Ben: Amheuser Busch Brewery

Anonymous phone call
Me: Hello?
____: 7 days..
:: CLICK::
I call Ella back
Me: 69 dayss
:: CLICK::

Rylan Sampler, talking about road tests..
Naturala99 (12:08:51 AM): ive taken it twice already....next one is nov. 17
Eleese86 (12:09:00 AM): nice, wutd u fail for
Naturala99 (12:09:24 AM): it wasnt that i failed.......my instructor failed for not being a good person
Naturala99 (12:09:36 AM): or should i say instructor(s)

Eleese86 (12:37:07 AM): lol so i asked jerry to come to my jr prom with me - he sed yes but dingfelder told me jerry wasnt guna go with me
Naturala99 (12:37:30 AM): i know...........i was there.........(ace ventura style)
Naturala99 (12:37:44 AM): put that shit in QP right now
Eleese86 (12:37:47 AM): haha omg i so am
Naturala99 (12:37:49 AM): QB
Naturala99 (12:37:52 AM): whatever lol
Eleese86 (12:37:55 AM): haha qp!
Naturala99 (12:38:04 AM): oh yeah....quote page

Soo gangster
Naturala99 (12:41:37 AM): damn strizaight

Naturala99 (12:42:31 AM): what is up with that "thats the spirit" bullshit, you sound like a mom
Eleese86 (12:42:41 AM): im a soccer mom
Eleese86 (12:42:46 AM): i drive a mini van
Naturala99 (12:43:13 AM): lol yea for real.......just get a mini van, a 24 pack of gatorade and dushbag of a husband and you will be well on your way
 
Talking about how im selling the Stang.. oh yes, the stangg
Eleese86 (12:45:10 AM): its a v6!
Naturala99 (12:45:26 AM): lol who gives a fuck, your gonna crash it either way =-O
Eleese86 (12:45:33 AM): im not u
Eleese86 (12:45:35 AM): hahahah jk!
Naturala99 (12:45:39 AM): omg......dead
Naturala99 (12:45:40 AM): your so dead
Eleese86 (12:45:44 AM): HAHA I LOVE YOU
Naturala99 (12:45:47 AM): that hit the heart
Naturala99 (12:46:06 AM): looks like my lyrics were right
Eleese86 (12:46:13 AM): aww babyy
Naturala99 (12:46:17 AM): "only a bitch can take your brain and toss it around til it breaks"
Naturala99 (12:46:23 AM): haha im playin

Dave, making a come back..
Eleese86 (3:04:02 PM): im guna go kill myself now
StillMaticEther9 (3:05:00 PM): jumping off of something high will work the quickest
 
Trying to find something to do
StillMaticEther9 (3:09:03 PM): maybe i'll come by ur house and drive thru the living room while your watching tv

This quote was actually said back in December of '02, but i just remembered it
Me, Katie Maloney,Mark Governale, and POD are sitting around drinking
Mark used to keep track of his bottle caps to see how many he drank.
Mark: 1..2..3..4..5..6..
Me: Hey, good to know you can count!
Mark: Haha, thanks - but come on now, what guy treats nice under age drinkers to fresh-cold Heniekens.. might I add, the most expensive beer..
POD: Alyse, how many have you had so far?
Me: Umm.. 2?
POD: oh come on bro.. wheres the spirit?

Anthony: You're on call..
Me: What?
Anthony: My tanks on E.. i'm goin to fill it up, if I dont make it - you get to pick me up.

While painting the kitchen ( for the second time)..sidebar - the kitch was hot pink b/c me and my family actually thought it was red..
Me: Where am i painting next?
Daddy: Paint over by the do-hickey..
Me: The what?
Daddy: You know...the armature sprocket, over by the do-hickey
Me: Whoa... okayyyy
 
We hear a strange noise..
Daddy: I know what it is.. its the armature sprocket, causing interference with the flow of the dinoflow
Me: Ahh wtf!!! i have a headache..
 
Gangster parents, painting together..
Mommy: Jeff(my dad) ya crampin' my style! Find anotha wall
 
 

Mommy: Do I really push you that hard? Like with school work?
Me: NO... yessss
Mommy: I just want you to try your best.. ( ramble ramble ramble)
Daddy: Nancy.. don't try using Pyschology on her.. she'll use it against you

Kim Bozza on the phone
Kimi: Can I get on the damn web page? I mean honestly bro, have long have I known you.. i got nothing!

Eleese86 (10:45:37 PM): omg, read my qp
Eleese86 (10:45:40 PM): it def got funnier
N adI DA sy (10:46:09 PM): how i read it
N adI DA sy (10:49:37 PM): i only read the ones
N adI DA sy (10:49:40 PM): with cool people
 
N adI DA sy (10:51:20 PM): u kno wha
Eleese86 (10:51:22 PM): what
N adI DA sy (10:51:26 PM): lets take this ...outside
Eleese86 (10:51:57 PM): k
Auto response from N adI DA sy (10:51:57 PM): outside
 
 

Auto response from StillMaticEther9 (9:29:57 PM): 3 page report on why the french hate the americans, my reasoning is the reason why the french and americans cant get along is because students have to write papers about the topic, i bet you by the time i finish this paper i will hate the french 300 times more then i do now

StillMaticEther9 (10:26:00 PM): hes the only one i want..
StillMaticEther9 (10:26:05 PM): whos that
Eleese86 (10:26:15 PM):  you dave
Eleese86 (10:26:16 PM): lol jk
Eleese86 (10:26:19 PM): this kid i work with
StillMaticEther9 (10:26:57 PM): oohhh so would u be buffin this kids knob
Eleese86 (10:27:13 PM): hahaha already did
StillMaticEther9 (10:27:14 PM): i will take that as a maybe
StillMaticEther9 (10:27:18 PM): and that as a yes
StillMaticEther9 (10:27:19 PM): lol
StillMaticEther9 (10:28:06 PM): swallowed that shit
Eleese86 (10:28:09 PM): yup
Eleese86 (10:28:17 PM): ;-)
Eleese86 (10:28:24 PM): u kno me
StillMaticEther9 (10:28:29 PM): yeah i'd let u do me but i would be scared to catch a homicide case
StillMaticEther9 (10:28:33 PM): drowning
Eleese86 (10:28:37 PM): hahahahahaha
StillMaticEther9 (10:28:53 PM): suffocation
Eleese86 (10:28:57 PM): lol
StillMaticEther9 (10:29:30 PM): but i mean if ur ever sick and need to induce vomitting u can use my member as a gag tool
Eleese86 (10:29:45 PM): haahaha thanks
StillMaticEther9 (10:29:56 PM): yeah so dont say i never offered u nethin

This is what a few months of college will do to ya..
CirePuck6 (4:25:28 PM): https://secure.serta.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=TH
CirePuck6 (4:25:32 PM): go there
Eleese86 (4:25:34 PM): k
Eleese86 (4:26:15 PM): haha the fuck is thiss??
CirePuck6 (4:26:19 PM): SHEEP
Eleese86 (4:26:21 PM): lmao
CirePuck6 (4:26:23 PM): the serta sheep
CirePuck6 (4:26:29 PM): cool right
Eleese86 (4:26:34 PM): lmao this is priceless

In the car with Ella nd her dad..
Ella's Dad: Gio[Ella], if you're wrestling this year, you better watch out for ring-worm..
Ella: Yeah i know.. im bringing lysol and wet naps
Dad: you might as well juss get gasoline nd burn that shit up!
( Ah i love Ella's dad and his asian ways)

In the car on Halloween night with Tom and Clayton.. We pass a certain land mark 3 times in a row, so we sorta figure were goin in circles..
Tom: Guys i swear, I know where we are now..
Clay: Yo, you said that 10 minutes ago and look where we are now.. the same fucking spot! This is definitely west bumblefuck..
 

Ahh Rylan makes me laugh:)
Naturala99 (6:00:46 PM): i dont know why...but your s/n reminds me of reeses peices
 

My protective older brother :)
Eleese86 (10:36:58 PM): i need a boyfriend
CirePuck6 (10:37:05 PM): no u dont
Eleese86 (10:37:14 PM): i want one soo badly
CirePuck6 (10:37:27 PM): NO
Eleese86 (10:37:30 PM): haha
Eleese86 (10:37:32 PM): lol why
CirePuck6 (10:38:09 PM): BECAUSE IM THE MOMMY THATS Y
 
In Eric's profile ( He goes to UAlbany)
From Playboy magazine - " We no longer list SUNY Albany in our list of national party schools because we feel it is unfair to rank professionals with amateurs."
 

Before going to Albany, me nd my dad made browniess
Dad: Okayy.. into the oven jew -- i mean ughh.. browniess...
Me: Oh my godd! Thats horrible!
Daddy: No, its okay if jews make fun of our kind.. other people can't though.. thats when its time to break out the magic stick

In UAlbany with my brother and his friends.. In an episode of South PArk, Jesus comes to visit
Alex(to me): We could talk to Jesus, if someone here wasn't a J-O-O!!
Me: It's not my fault!!!!!
 
At Work with Jason:
Talking about Nail Polish on Debbie's Desk
Jay: This doesn't seem like fun..
 
Talking about this gay kid
Jay: Yeah, he tested positive for homosexual

A Note from Anthony to my boss's Laura and Debbie:
Laura,
I'm sorry to inform you that I cannot work on the 18th of November. I love you.
With all my love,
Anthony Louis Seedorf
xoxox <33 hugs and kisses
 
haha i love my anthonyy!!

gangstar.jpg

Haha.. my math teacher when he was a youngin

In Chem with Keri Wilson and Jess Keller
Keri: Doesn't it piss you off that when you're on a roller coaster, there is always that annoying dad saying right before the big drop, " HERE WE GO!!"
Trinkle(Before doing an experiment): Here we go!!!

In the car with John Trayhan, Ella, Dan, Christian and Greg in Christians Escalade..
John: The fucking volume button is on the steering wheel? Who is that fucking rich that they can't bend over and push the volume button.. fucking assholes..
 
More funny times with John
Ella: There's also a refrigerator in here
John: Holy shit!!! THIS IS CRAZY!
Christian: No theres not
Ella: Lets just pretend, he'll believe it..
 
This kid bleeps my phone
John, in a girls voice: Ohh baby, why dont you come meet up with us..
Kid:Yo, im trying to get head right now..
John: From who? ya mom!!
 
Kid, again: Yo, is that you in the black escalade?
Me: yeah.. why?
Kid: Holy shit!! That car is so ill
Me: yeah.. its hot..
Kid: Oh word. I gotta go to this girls house, ill be right back.
(Never shows up, i think he went to go jack off to the sight of the car)
 
Chillin with Mike Prainito and Anthony Signoretti
Mike: Dont you hate when people stare at you?
Anthony: Yeah, I hate gettin grilled at
Mike: I like grilled chicken..
Me: Haha.. There is def. no connection there
 
The Heaven song is playing by DJ Clue or whatever..
Anthony, singing: I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven..
5 Minutes later
Anthony, still singing: Da da da da da adaa we're in heavenn
Me: This song is still fiucking on??
Mike: Holy shit, its never going to end..
 
 

" See fridays are cool cause its like..'yes the weekend' and then thursdays are like ' yes, tomorrow is friday' and then wednesday is just confusing cause its the middle of the week.. and tuesday.. well yeah, im just not a big fan." - Mr. Cleveland
 
Cleveland..
"See math is great.. if you ever need to go shopping just go into Home Depot and be like I need a
2x˛+ 4x -8  times 2x˛+ 6 
 4x˛+ 12           x+2     piece of wood."

"Without Chemistry we'd all be living in caves... sober..." - Maggie's Chem teacher

In Math..
Natalie: Yeah, I can't see without my glasses, so when i'm driving without my glasses, its not good
Clevey: Mm.. good to know.. thanks..
 
Radicals..
Cleve: See Math is everywhere. You can walk into a pizza place and be like 'Hey, im not that hungry.. i'll have 1/rad5 slice of pizza..'
 
"I have a hard time calling myself 'Clevey' " - Cleveland
 
" I can't say Rad..it brings back bad memories of the '80s.. not good.." - Cleve, again
 
During 7th period with Brian Wolowski, Amber Fazio and Matt Asaro and Kim Bozza
Bri: I'm Donny, Alyse is Bonnie, Amber is Connie, Matt is Johnny and Kim is Irene..
 

Genova on the bleep bleep
Genova: Yo, whatd you get on your report card
Me: 3.2.. its soo bad
Genova: You almost beat me by 3 whole points
Me: WTF did you get?
Gen: umm .27
hahaha aww i love him
 
My brother and Perri..
Auto response from CirePuck6 (9:05:54 PM): PLove1313 (8:31:55 PM): besides my roomate made a rule for our room this weekend.
CirePuck6 (8:32:04 PM): it is...
PLove1313 (8:32:15 PM): no sex. or sexual contact of any sorts.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, JOKES EH SON?

On the topic of my obsession with Clevey
Cleve: Does anyone know my website... Alyse?
Me: Nah, i dont know it
Cleve: Wow, shocker..
 
Discussing a possible party
Clevey: Oh, hey.. i'll just pay for everything!
 
"I get scared when you guys get quiet.. cause then i gotta come up with something funny" - Infamous Cleveland

Driving with Eric while he stops at a yellow light
Me: You coulda make that Bro..
Eric: Yeah well, I dont wanna hit any old ladies
(While practically in the intersection, waiting)
Me: Whatever, obviously being 200 feet over the pedistrian line really doesn't matter to you..
Eric: Fuck the pedistrians!
 
On Thanksgiving with the drunken family
Gramma: Alyse, fill this up for me - im going on my 4th white russian in a matter of 25 minutes
Me: umm.. are you sure?
Gramma:yeah.. im a little bit tipsy - get ready for that strip tease later - im gunna be goneeee
 

A poster for the Connetquot Ice Hockey game made by Kenny Trentowski, Sam Rank, Kyle Rank, and another kid..
 
E ww
F o shizzle
F uck the police!
O h, look its a donkey
R etards on ice
T upac isnt dead!

On Thanksgiving..
Eleese86 (8:18:43 PM): merry christmas :-)
URMa I sHOt (8:18:58 PM): fuckin joo no sense of holidays

Kyle Rank... ohh mann
Eleese86 (8:32:44 PM): sing to me lol
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:33:15 PM): lalalalalalalala mr. sandman give me a dream
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:33:18 PM): bunnunun
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:33:21 PM): thats all iknwo
Eleese86 (8:33:24 PM): hahahahahahaha
Eleese86 (8:33:59 PM): sing me mj
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:34:17 PM): i dunno words i just make up stuff
Eleese86 (8:34:24 PM): hahaha juss hum to the beat
Eleese86 (8:34:27 PM): lol
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:34:43 PM): hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beat it hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beat it
Eleese86 (8:34:57 PM): hahahaha

SIRsavesALOT41 (8:49:01 PM): wanna hear a joke
Eleese86 (8:49:04 PM): yeah yeahh
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:49:09 PM): why did hitler commit sucide
Eleese86 (8:49:13 PM): ummm
Eleese86 (8:49:14 PM): whyy?
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:49:16 PM): he saw the gas bill

SIRsavesALOT41 (8:47:33 PM): o well that the way i roll
Eleese86 (8:47:39 PM): haha oh yeah?
Eleese86 (8:47:42 PM): i roll in a benz
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:48:16 PM): i roll in a civic packed with 30 yr old mexicans hopping the border

Talking about how Mr. Cleveland hates freshman
Girl: What period do you have them?
Cleve: Seems like every...
 
Girl: Lets make fun of freshman, we still have 5 minutes left [in class]
Cleveland: Theres clearly not enough time.
 
In AP Psych. we were talking about Mnemonic Devices and Conrad being the sick fuck he is decided to be perverted and write this on the board...
F from       S should
U under      H have
C control    I illicit
K kids       T traits
 
My day is like 'its great.. its great... umm yeahh it sucks when i see the freshman' " - Cleveland, who else?
 
 
 

UrMaIsHot: i need a new sn
Eleese86: Oh true... umm
UrMaIsHot: Eleese85
 
Hahaa.. funniest kid everr ((my new favorite person))
Auto response from SIRsavesALOT41 (8:36:09 PM): outside naked making an igloo thats right NAKED

While driving into Islip/Brentwood with my dad for a little road trip
As he goes over a big bump..
Me: Why would you do that??
Daddy: Because I can.. if you had a truck, youd do it too
Me: No, i dont wanna die
Daddy: Theres another reason why I'm gangster..
 
The 12 Days of Christmas at the Rinx ( to the tune of "The 12 Days of XMas"
1. 1 worker working all alone
2. 2 boss' screaming
3. 3 party girls
4. 4 birthday parties
5. 5 people firedd
6. 6 in the office
7. 7 pizzas burning
8. 8 kids on break
9. 9 mile line
10. 10 bad closings
11. 11 hours flirting
12. 12 employees whiningg
 

" Out of all the gangsta shit you listen to, I think "Get Low" is my favorite.. it's so ill" - My dad..

 
Cleveland looking thru this kids notebook
Cleve: Aww look, its the submarine problem
 
Kid: Cleve, you should put your awesome pictures all over our tests..
Cleve: Yeah, i can see it now.. an abstract test!
 
"The Freshmen Campus sucks.. it doesn't have any dry-erase boards... and it's got freshmen.." - Cleveland

Jeff, Sam's roomate at Norwich U..
JiffOnFire (10:59:13 PM): im lost
JiffOnFire (10:59:16 PM): you lost me
Eleese86 (10:59:25 PM): haha im lost too
Eleese86 (10:59:28 PM): i think im going insane
JiffOnFire (10:59:29 PM): heres you  > 0
JiffOnFire (10:59:36 PM): heres me >  lost
Eleese86 (10:59:52 PM): that about sums it up

About Brian Coleman who always has something perverted to say
Gallucci: Aww look, the pornstar has a soft side..

About my g - unit dad..

theMONTIsaurus22 (8:00:46 PM): a jewish kid growing up around a million black is almost impossible, no way lol
Eleese86 (8:00:53 PM): no i swear

Eleese86 (8:01:03 PM): hes not religous at all
theMONTIsaurus22 (8:01:36 PM): religious when it comes to kegs according to you tho

theMONTIsaurus22 (8:02:26 PM): so is that why you feel the need to be in touch with your urban side

 

" So lemme get this straight, Jay Z has a new album called 'The Black Album". Does this mean i can make an album and call it 'The Jew Album'.. No, I didn't think so either" - My dad, being racist

StillMaticEther9 (9:52:39 PM): today in the parking lot
StillMaticEther9 (9:52:45 PM): the windows fogged up cuza the rain
StillMaticEther9 (9:53:03 PM): so my english teacher stops me to say hello
Eleese86 (9:53:14 PM): oh god..
StillMaticEther9 (9:53:16 PM): and is like are u aware there is hand prints on ur back window
StillMaticEther9 (9:53:22 PM): im like u ever see the movie titanic
Eleese86 (9:53:24 PM): hahahahhaa
StillMaticEther9 (9:53:43 PM): damn the look on her face was like them credit card commercials
StillMaticEther9 (9:53:45 PM): priceless

Dinner convo with the fam
Mommy: So whose lighter did I find in the wash?
Eric: Mine..
Mommy: Oh.. how is the weed up there in Albany?
Eric: Haha, its good - but expensive
Mom: Oh, so thats where my money is going.. how much does an ounce go for?
Eric: About like 250..
Mom: Ha... when i was your age it was only like 35 dollars
Daddy: Yeah - it was pretty cheap.. ya gotta good deal if you had a car and gas
 
:: an hour later ::
Eric: 35 DOLLARS!!!
 
online with my dad later that night..
Eleese86 (9:14:20 PM): 35 DOLLARS!!
Jenan4 (9:14:43 PM): yep you were even able to bargain down to 25 if you had a car and gas
Eleese86 (9:14:48 PM): HAHAHAHA
Eleese86 (9:14:50 PM): sah weet
Jenan4 (9:15:02 PM): of course I never drove but.......
Eleese86 (9:15:04 PM): HAHAH
Eleese86 (9:15:06 PM): denial..
Jenan4 (9:15:21 PM): no it's called selective memory
Eleese86 (9:15:25 PM): hahahah
Jenan4 (9:16:03 PM): back in my day everything was cheap a gallon of gas cost 37 cents!!!!
 
My dad walking in my room to put the laundry away
He walks in holding one of my thongs
Daddy: Eye-patches.. they boggle my mind
Me: Daddy -its a thong, not an eye patch
Daddy: Haha, that sucks

There was a page in the school newspaper about Cleveland.. so Katelyn Maloney made a comment about it..
Cleve: Oh, you read the one of me saving those kids in the fire.. ( pause) oh wait - that was last weeks..
 
Conrad taking a test in AP Psych.
" I refused to be rushed goddammit!"

"Let me guess, you paid for my christmas present with your credit card so I get billed for it.. i know you too well." - Daddy

Talking to Evan Van Nostrand
Eleese86 (4:14:55 PM): could u imagine cleve as a porn star
Eleese86 (4:14:56 PM): hahah
aznpimplax20 (4:15:04 PM): "Porn for GOONS"
 
aznpimplax20 (4:11:55 PM): you know what cleveland gave me on my 5 week notice
Eleese86 (4:11:59 PM): lol wha
aznpimplax20 (4:12:17 PM): "possibly failing"
aznpimplax20 (4:12:22 PM): "late incomplete assignments"
aznpimplax20 (4:12:29 PM): "should attend extra help"
aznpimplax20 (4:12:33 PM): "Please Call"
Eleese86 (4:12:37 PM): hahahah
aznpimplax20 (4:12:50 PM): im like 4 for 4 on the im fucking stupid comments
aznpimplax20 (4:13:30 PM): yo there was no need for the "please call" one
Eleese86 (4:13:35 PM): haha i know
aznpimplax20 (4:13:41 PM): it makes it seem like im not doing my work cause im like depressed or something
aznpimplax20 (4:13:48 PM): he thinks theres something wrong in my life
Eleese86 (4:14:01 PM): awww
Eleese86 (4:14:05 PM): lol its not ur fault ur asian
aznpimplax20 (4:14:10 PM): i know right
aznpimplax20 (4:14:13 PM): you god damn irish
Eleese86 (4:14:15 PM): hahaha
aznpimplax20 (4:14:17 PM): what he put on yours
Eleese86 (4:14:29 PM): lol trying hard/good effort.. pleasure to have in clas
Eleese86 (4:14:30 PM): HA
Eleese86 (4:14:31 PM): lol
aznpimplax20 (4:14:39 PM): see its that irish connection

Eleese86 (8:00:24 PM): i found a dollar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:00:31 PM): o
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:00:34 PM): a pennietooo
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:00:54 PM): i found one before
Eleese86 (8:00:57 PM): hah nice
SIRsavesALOT41 (8:01:04 PM): and i was like wat would alyse do so i picked it up

Brandon Wright.. ahh hes great
HoCkEyLaX8621 (2:53:51 PM): ur mission if u choose to accept it is to discover how she would feel about what was previously talked about without giving away the secret.  this message will self destruct in 5 seconds
Eleese86 (2:54:14 PM): hahahahahaahaha
HoCkEyLaX8621 signed off at 2:54:21 PM.
 
HoCkEyLaX8621 signed on at 2:55:37 PM.
HoCkEyLaX8621 (2:55:46 PM): sorry i got a little carried away
 
The truth.. hah
HoCkEyLaX8621 (2:49:00 PM): i forgot that to girls u have to use the exact word
 
HoCkEyLaX8621 (3:01:07 PM): it was just sarcasm
Eleese86 (3:01:23 PM): lol u cant use sarcasm online! it doesnt work!! lol
HoCkEyLaX8621 (3:01:53 PM): yeah but im always sarcastic so i just figured u would think it was sarcasm
Eleese86 (3:02:36 PM): hahaha true
Eleese86 (3:02:40 PM): giving me too credit lol

The most quotes in one day for Clevey.. it was a productive day :o)
 
While teaching us how the government can figure out if you fraud your tax returns..
"I'm not lying om how to fraud your tax returns! I swear.."
 
On the day before break, Cleve was absent, so the class made him a 'Get Better' card..
"The people in the office wanted to know who Clevey was, and I just told them it was a long story."
 
"Why are we using the quadratic Equation? Good question.. Because that's what today's AIM says"
 
" I love having 2 consecutive periods. Cause then next period, we're doing the same stuff, and I'm like ' 18 squared.. whats that, 324? It makes me look good..Of course, that is, if you dont know your '18' times tables."
 
Girl: Cleve, your birthdays coming up soon right? When is it?
Cleve: The whole month of February

Jess Keller with a camera in Chem.
Jess: If i send pictures of you to your son of you teaching, itd be so funny.
Trinks:He already knows what I look like..
 
" Ive said funnier shit then that - i try so hard to make it on [QP]" Jess
 
" So your saying if I hit up your son too, I'd get an A?" - Random kid making fun of the fact that I chill with Trinkle's son

Justin Rubins Story Time:
BullzLax22 (10:07:05 PM): so there once lived an irish jew
BullzLax22 (10:07:27 PM): she was beautiful
BullzLax22 (10:07:30 PM): and very easy
BullzLax22 (10:07:35 PM): so one day
BullzLax22 (10:07:44 PM): she left her house and walked down the block
BullzLax22 (10:07:51 PM): this was no simple walk
BullzLax22 (10:07:55 PM): this was a mission

BullzLax22 (10:08:13 PM): she was off to get some milk and birthcontroll pills

BullzLax22 (10:08:22 PM): because she was easy
Eleese86 (10:08:27 PM): hahahaha way to imply it
BullzLax22 (10:08:31 PM): so on her way she saw a man
BullzLax22 (10:08:44 PM): (yes, she blew him)

BullzLax22 (10:08:53 PM): but after he gave her a magic bean
BullzLax22 (10:09:08 PM): so she kept walking
BullzLax22 (10:09:15 PM): and finally reached 7-11

BullzLax22 (10:09:50 PM): at 711 she picked up sum milk
BullzLax22 (10:09:59 PM): wit a reeli late experation date
BullzLax22 (10:10:06 PM): she was excited about that
Eleese86 (10:10:07 PM): lol like her period?
BullzLax22 (10:10:39 PM): wat?
BullzLax22 (10:10:45 PM): no shes fucking buying milk
BullzLax22 (10:11:03 PM): ok so she brings the milk to the counter
BullzLax22 (10:11:11 PM): and the man rings her up
BullzLax22 (10:11:18 PM): "ne thing else he asks"
BullzLax22 (10:11:29 PM): yes id like sum b. c. pills
BullzLax22 (10:11:38 PM): she replies
BullzLax22 (10:11:54 PM): ur total is 10.95
BullzLax22 (10:12:09 PM): she then pays him with the magic bean
BullzLax22 (10:12:20 PM): he is from india so he accpts it
BullzLax22 (10:12:27 PM): he doesnt know ne better
BullzLax22 (10:12:52 PM): she winks at the stupid hindu and leaves
BullzLax22 (10:13:23 PM): the then skips merily home with her parcel, to have sex wit many old men awaiting her at home
BullzLax22 (10:13:40 PM): and they all lived happily and sluttly ever after
BullzLax22 (10:13:45 PM): the end
BullzLax22 (10:13:55 PM): ok ur turn
 
Eleese86 (10:14:55 PM): there once a boy, he claimed he was only half jewish. but he was the biggest J-O-O around.. so one day he goes to the store, and he picked out a nice shirt.. now the shirts were already on sale, so he goes to buy it
Eleese86 (10:15:34 PM): this shvatza walks in and is like " gimme all ya money" and the joo is like " no, its 4 dollars!! i cant do it" so the black guy is like " okay fuck this" and shoots himself
Eleese86 (10:16:36 PM): so then the joo goes to pay for it nd goes to the clerk" how much is this?" "4 dollars sir" the clerk replies..and the joo goes" ill give ya 2 for it" and the clerk is like " but sir, its 4 dollars.." nd the joo keeps trying to haggle
Eleese86 (10:16:49 PM): and then the indian behind the counter get his gun and shoots the joo
Eleese86 (10:16:50 PM): the end :-)
BullzLax22 (10:17:39 PM): ur such a slut lol

My cousin in UAlbany belongs to a frat, and on the homepage it has their favorites quotes.. well here are a few of my favorite i saw..
" I like my hoes like summer.. no class"
"I aint about love, i'm about wassup tonght!?"

After my mom was annoying me and my dad
Daddy, to me: Promise me you'll pick out a good nursing home for me.. away from her.. hah.. just keep the flowers fresh and the shrooms coming
Me: Oh my God! haha you're sick!
Dad: Hey, everyone needs a get-a-way once in a while
 
"You're right, I hate my dad." <- Kim Bozza's quote on emo music
 
"That John Denver is full of shit! I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little more rockier than this!" Jim Carey, Dumb and Dumber ( my favorite quote )
 
My Brother... funny kid..
Eric: Are those your skis?
Me: Yeah..
Eric: Both of em?
Me: WOW, LETS RIP OF DUMB AND DUMBER A LITTLE MORE

In AP Psych. passing around Conrads drink..
Conrad: Lets not pass it around like your mom at a rock concert
 
Conrad after being absent for a day...Woods(Teacher)
Con: So I heard you were talking shit about me while i wasnt here
Woods: Haha, would i ever?
Con: Oh thats such bullshit
 
Connie got soup at the cafe
Woods: That smells like ass
Connie, moving his desk closer: Oh, I'm sorry..
 
Random Kid: Aren't you not allowed to curse at us
Woods: Shut up, you all suck
 

Ahh my anthony
TonyS660 (7:54:32 PM): slutbag
Eleese86 (7:54:38 PM): TEABAGGER
TonyS660 (7:54:47 PM): you bastard
 
TonyS660 (8:03:44 PM): if im at war
TonyS660 (8:03:47 PM): first killl i get
TonyS660 (8:03:51 PM): im gonna pick my cell up
TonyS660 (8:03:52 PM): call you
TonyS660 (8:03:54 PM): be like
TonyS660 (8:04:01 PM): yooo i just smoked this fooool
TonyS660 (8:04:15 PM): its gonna be such a rush

I'll miss this when he goes away :o( i love you anthonyy
TonyS660 (8:11:00 PM): yo i want a slut
TonyS660 (8:11:04 PM): im talken a huge slut
TonyS660 (8:11:09 PM): find alyse find
TonyS660 (8:11:14 PM): im out of the girlfriend mode
Eleese86 (8:11:16 PM): lol any preferences
TonyS660 (8:11:22 PM): we knew that was gonna blow over quick
Eleese86 (8:11:23 PM): u were in it for like 3 seconds
TonyS660 (8:11:53 PM): slut it away alyse
TonyS660 (8:12:06 PM): be all you can be
Eleese86 (8:12:15 PM): hahaha im not a dyke, im not in the army here
TonyS660 (8:12:23 PM): ohh sure
TonyS660 (8:13:48 PM): we should play a horrible trick
Eleese86 (8:13:56 PM): haha omg im so in
TonyS660 (8:13:57 PM): donate money to charity that isnt ours
Eleese86 (8:14:01 PM): HAHAH
Eleese86 (8:14:02 PM): wtf
Eleese86 (8:14:09 PM): i thought u could come up with something better then that!
TonyS660 (8:14:16 PM): like write a check out
TonyS660 (8:14:20 PM): with all this money
TonyS660 (8:14:25 PM): that we dont have
Eleese86 (8:14:30 PM): HAHAHAH
Eleese86 (8:14:32 PM): yeah debt is cool
Eleese86 (8:14:36 PM): ill meet ya there
TonyS660 (8:14:42 PM): didnt think of that
Eleese86 (8:14:49 PM): lolol
TonyS660 (8:14:52 PM): well that ruined that idea
Eleese86 (8:14:53 PM): haha oh man
Eleese86 (8:15:02 PM): im glad i brought u into the light
TonyS660 (8:17:04 PM): aight lets think of somethin good
Eleese86 (8:17:09 PM): ight ight
Eleese86 (8:17:10 PM): hmmm
TonyS660 (8:17:14 PM): somethin thats gonna make someone feel special
TonyS660 (8:17:22 PM): then completely turn them suicidal
Eleese86 (8:17:30 PM): lets get harrison to get crabs, and well have him sleep with everyone, causing everyone to get them!
TonyS660 (8:17:40 PM): omg
TonyS660 (8:17:45 PM): thats the worst idea possible
Eleese86 (8:17:53 PM): haha its better then going into debt!
TonyS660 (8:17:53 PM): and rather disgusting

Haha Cristina, i love you girl lol
Eleese86 (5:19:46 PM): hah yup and _____called
CristinaBella87 (5:19:55 PM): ahhhhhhhh what he say
Eleese86 (5:19:56 PM): he wanted me to come over and get drunk, but i was like umm, no thnx
CristinaBella87 (5:19:59 PM): HIT THAT!
Eleese86 (5:20:00 PM): hahah
CristinaBella87 (5:20:14 PM): WHAT IS WORNG WITH U?????

Oh man.. my one true love <33 haha
CristinaBella87 (5:20:27 PM): ahh i have a pic to give u tomorrow
CristinaBella87 (5:22:12 PM): of ur love
CristinaBella87 (5:23:09 PM): n he looks fineeeeeeeeeee
CristinaBella87 (5:23:17 PM): i got doubles lol
CristinaBella87 (5:23:49 PM): i was like i gotta give this to alyseee

Me, spitting out answers like it was my job
Me: Just called me  T.A.
Mr. Forzano : Yeah, thanks, but I'd rather not.. haha
 
Bozza:  Cleve, I think im sick, does my head feel warm?
Cleve: I dont know.. im a math teacher, not a doctor
Kim: Can I get a pass atleast? Or maybe tylenol, make it stop hurting
Cleve:  I have band - aids and rubber gloves..
 
In Criminal Justice..
Matt Hoffman: What if theres, like, senior citizens in a hospital with plugs and and cords and shit and you pull the plug.. wouldn't that be helping them out since there in bad condition?
Ray Wilson: you mean "trip" over the cord?
Mr. Cummings:  What if the old guy was like " we can get through this!"
 

Cleve: Does anyone know whose shirt this is? Cause im throwing it out..
Random Kid: Maybe it's a freshmens...
Cleve: Ha.. then ill clean up the gum on the floor

Alex, talking to Perri.. my two fav girls at UAlbany
Allieyo16: reeses has white chocolate cups now
Allieyo16: its unreal
Allieyo16: i know neither chocolate or peanut butter does it for me but its totally thinking outside the box
PLove1313: let me tell you something about the people in the choc business
PLove1313: they have another thinking cap that i cant even grasp

In Criminal Justice with Mr. Cummings
Cummings: Alyse, who are these pics of?
Me: JP.. Jon Price...
Cummings: WEINERR! haha I remember that kid, all he used to say was WEINER haha oh man.. dont talk to this kid..

With my bestest friend Ambii !! lol special kid..
Ambz: How come you wanna do Forensic Psych.?
Me: I dunna, i just like that stuff
Ambz: Why would you wanna do psychology on dead people?
OH AMBER I LOVE YOU DARLING! HAHA

Cleve: "Okay guys, you know, since it's my birthday everyone got me lotto card. So im scratching off the stuff, and I get to the last one, and guess how much i won? thats right! one dollar, YEAH IM A WINNER but it gets better, just wait.. its a double lotto.. SO I WON 2 DOLLARS .. im a double winner.. i did a whole victory dance around the library and everything.. so whats the moral of the story... ITS MY BIRTHDAY AND IM A WINNER.. i might have to get a lawyer for this.. too much money to collect"
 
We all wrote "happy birthday Cleve" on the board..and knowing me, I wrote, "I love you cleve, happy birthday!"
"As for attendance, i can tell whose here from the board.. welp, Alyse is here.."

At UAlbany with my cousin Chad, who was involved in the Fraternity TKE
My brother, Eric: Isn't it annoying to live with so many guys?
Chad: Well.. its just hard cause everyone eats your food
Me: It must suck cleaning up after the parties
Chad: Not really, we have the pledges to do that.
 
Me and Vadim were talking about Chad
Me: How do you know Chad?
Vadim: I met him at orientation and he made this whole speech about how not to drink when your underage and stuff. And then i went to the TKE party and he came up to me nd hands me a beer and says "the kegs in the back on the left"

On the phone with Tom Gang while hes in florida..
Tom: Wow, its really hot down here..
Me: Wow, youre really smart

Haha.. Sam - what a funny kid..
Eleese86 (7:35:32 PM): lol your excused
Sum41rep1ica (7:35:47 PM): thank u
Eleese86 (7:36:13 PM): lol im giving u a 2 min time limit
Sum41rep1ica (7:36:33 PM): ok brb i will go stand in the corner
Eleese86 (7:36:40 PM): haha FACE THE WALL
Sum41rep1ica is away at 7:36:41 PM.
Eleese86 (7:36:42 PM): lol
Auto response from Sum41rep1ica (7:36:42 PM): corner time

Aww Anthony.. i love you even if you arent the smartest thing!
TonyS660 (12:14:07 AM): ill give you the jist of weapons
TonyS660 (12:15:00 AM): tazers, bats-metal and wood, clubs, beer bottles, crowbars, broom sticks, screw drivers, deadly toothpicks
TonyS660 (12:15:11 AM): wrenches
Eleese86 (12:15:15 AM): hahaha deadly toothpicks?
Eleese86 (12:15:20 AM): sounds umm.... harsh?
TonyS660 (12:15:47 AM): not toothpicks, like really sharp metal pointy shit
TonyS660 (12:15:50 AM): icepicks
Eleese86 (12:16:01 AM): hahaha ohhhh
TonyS660 (12:16:04 AM): i got a toothpick in my mouth now
TonyS660 (12:16:07 AM): confused myself

Mike Brescia walks into work in his army uniform
Jay: Colonel Mustard
Me: In the dining room..
Jay: With the candlestick

In the hallway, as I pass Rylan
Ry: Aww how cute.. glasses.. you look like a nerd
 
Kenny...
Auto response from BRAND NEW lp12 (3:23:30 PM): watchin miracle, ILLEAGALLY!!!!!
 
Jess reading outloud in Chem. while stuttering..
Trinks: So what do we need?
Me: Hooked on Phonics!
( I know, im an arrogant shit - i put myself on my own quotes page..)

Haha.. conradddddd

evoldarnoc (8:40:50 PM): You know how we do
Eleese86 (8:40:53 PM): haha
evoldarnoc (8:41:05 PM): I <3 your strong island shirt

Eleese86 (8:41:24 PM): my mom thinks im a lesbian bcuz i wear guy shirts hahaha
evoldarnoc (8:41:39 PM): You should leave lesbian stuff around the house to freak her out
Eleese86 (8:41:51 PM): im going to hahah
evoldarnoc (8:42:02 PM): At thanksgiving dinner, tap your glass
evoldarnoc (8:42:08 PM): "um Im a lesbian"
Eleese86 (8:42:11 PM): LMAO
evoldarnoc (8:42:16 PM): Destroy the family!
evoldarnoc (8:42:19 PM): Could you imagine
Eleese86 (8:42:20 PM): excuse me, mom? yeah u were right, i love pussy

 
evoldarnoc (8:45:08 PM): Wee wee is what we call lemon squares
evoldarnoc (8:45:14 PM): I need to go preheat the oven now...
 
Ahh in Math with Cleve
"Next time we have cake, I'm guna ask you for 3pi/2 slice and if you gimme a weird look.. im just guna have to take my business elsewhere!"

In Criminal Justice with Ray Wilson ( who is black and cant get enough of it)
Ray: I have something in my eye!
Mr. Cummings: You're guna have something else in your eye if you dont shut up! My fist!
Ray: THATS A BIASED CRIME!
 
More Math moments.. again..
ASTC ( All, Sine, Tangent, Cosine -->graphing them)
Kim Bozza: I got a mnemonic device! ALL SLUTS TAKE CASH!
... 5 minutes later
Cleve: So where does it go? ... thats right... TAKE!

I absolutely love my retard unit girl.. Ahh Jess Noonsssss

Eleese86 (9:17:34 PM): lol where would u be without me

JnOOns13 (9:17:46 PM): NOWHERE
JnOOns13 (9:18:03 PM): maybe the back ally in the streets of harlem pushing a shopping cart looking for my babys daddy

JnOOns13 (9:22:09 PM): or else
JnOOns13 (9:22:19 PM): ..god im sucha badass, im giving out
 threats now

JnOOns13 (9:23:21 PM): its like :cricket...cricket: right now
JnOOns13 (9:23:42 PM): lol do u like ur cereal dry or with some liquid flavor aka milk
Eleese86 (9:25:00 PM): froot loops or fruity pebbles?

JnOOns13 (9:30:39 PM): i wanna make ur quotes!!
JnOOns13 (9:30:57 PM): or i will be all badassy again and do somehting reeeallly really redicuously badassish

In Criminal Justice
(the lights are off)
Ray: Can you see me?
 
A sub. whose gotta be atleast 97..
Sub: I need one of you electronic genious' to put the tape in [VCR]
Ray: Yeah.. a genious...
Sub: For some of us, this is new technology
 
 
 

Conrad... ahh hahaha.. took it from his profile
Conrad, looking at alysons bracelet: H&M?
Alyson: Yep
Conrad: I know my shit
Kait: Queerbag
Conrad: Maybe youll be singing a different tune after I rape you
 
In an SAT course that makes me want to committ suicide.
Forzano: Everyone says that, Schein
Me: So what are you trying to say here?
Forzano: That you're nothing special..
Conrad: Yeah, quotes page
 
Writing notes with conrad back and forth during the class ( A=alyse C=conrad
A: Holler back youngin!
C: kill me now
A: BOOM!
C: ::falls off chair and bleeds::
A: ::laughs evil:: i win!
C: ::uses last energy surge and cuts alyse::
A: ::gets up:: its just a flesh wound!
C: ::truck speeds up:: Driver: "AH NO BRAKES" ::plasters alyse::
A: ::sharpens broken bone in pencil sharpener and sticks it in conrads eye::
C: :: earth blows up::
 

Eleese86: what day is the jr prom?
sweet misery ox: umm.. the 22nd?
Eleese86: Wait.. the 22nd is a sunday..
sweet misery ox: alyse the 22nd is a saturday
sweet misery ox: + it even says it on the school calendar
sweet misery ox: so i dont know what calendar you're looking at.
Eleese86 (7:46:41 PM): haha dammit
Eleese86 (7:46:44 PM): i was lookin in march
Eleese86 (7:46:45 PM): hahahaha
Eleese86 (7:46:48 PM): pardon my irish
sweet misery ox (7:46:54 PM): HAHA WOW!!!!!!
Eleese86 (7:47:20 PM): atleast its a month!
Auto response from sweet misery ox (7:47:42 PM): calling fran to make my hair appointment. :-)
alyse schein you damn jew! learn how to read calendars hahah

At an assembly at school given by my principle
Ehmann: See now, what if we were to put the jocks in front, the drug addicts on the right, the emo kids on the left, and the sluts in back?
Yvonne and me: Ahaha, we'd be in the back.. the farr back..

Me and Mike Hornberger talkin about how badly Keri needs to get laid
Me: Keri, you're guna like cry.. its guna hurt so bad
Mike: (making fun of keri) LUCKY NUMBER 81!
Me: Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway..
Keri: GUYS!!!!!

haha sending a lil info to the rookie
Eleese86: ive hooked up with 4 sets of brothers
JnOOns13: HAHAH
Eleese86: hahahaha
Eleese86: i winnn
JnOOns13: play on playette

taking about a previous convo about boys we both Xed out of
Eleese86 (11:54:52 PM): how do you remember thiss
JnOOns13 (11:54:56 PM): i gotta good mind
JnOOns13 (11:54:58 PM): master mind
Eleese86 (11:55:12 PM): so why cant u figure boys out - there stupid
JnOOns13 (11:55:19 PM): good question
Eleese86 (11:55:23 PM): say the word sex and there all yours
JnOOns13 (11:55:26 PM): i applaud you
JnOOns13 (11:55:29 PM): lol
Eleese86 (11:55:31 PM): why thank you
JnOOns13 (11:55:36 PM): golf clap


JnOOns13 (11:55:59 PM): you are god
JnOOns13 (11:56:02 PM): truley u are god
Eleese86 (11:56:09 PM): (( enter whip noise here))
JnOOns13 (11:56:40 PM): oh oh i remember more
JnOOns13 (11:56:44 PM): im like whats ur secret
JnOOns13 (11:56:50 PM): and ur like just act like you dont need em
 
JnOOns13 (11:59:01 PM): DAMN IM GOOD
JnOOns13 (11:59:05 PM): im good but ur god
 
haha talk about a self esteem booster

As Greg Huether sits on my computer looking for some girl online..
Greg: Whose screen name has the number 86 in it? What kinda number is that
Me: Ah-Hem... (eleese86)
Greg: oh man.. sorry
 

Auto response from theMONTIsaurus22 (9:10:30 PM): ATTENTION: DATE NEEDED FOR THE SUFFOLK PAL HOCKEY AWARDS DINNER TOMORROW 4-14-04 @ 7:00pm.

applicants need not apply if over 300lbs. must enjoy long walks on the beach, watching the sunset, and must like peanut butter sandwiches.
PLEASE APPLY ASAP

Thats my girl!! yeah amber

xcraziibabiix1 3 (9:13:01 PM): this like 37 year old guy hit on me at work on easter i was like can i get you anything else and he was like yeah your number.. and i was like okey buddy #1 theres a line out the door i dont have time for this #2 im 16 #3 i have a boyfriend and #4 your wearing a wedding ring so let me ask you this again.. can i get you anything else .. it was so funny my boss was laughing so hard

Talking to Casey Hubbard about the scavenher hunt im in the progress of making..

Eleese86 (9:19:35 PM): drive thru wendys drive thru backwards
Oagey97 (9:19:47 PM): haha
Eleese86 (9:19:48 PM): get a 50 yr old lady to say " my milk shake brings all the boys to the yard"
Eleese86 (9:19:53 PM): get a cop to oink
Eleese86 (9:20:08 PM): lawn shopping 1) pink flamingo 2) knome
Eleese86 (9:20:26 PM): make a hole in 1 on any 18th hole golf course
Eleese86 (9:20:41 PM): listen to gay music in public and have people point and laugh
Eleese86 (9:20:52 PM): hit on a 13yr old girl at the mall while shes with her mom
Eleese86 (9:20:58 PM): a few more things..
Oagey97 (9:22:53 PM): we danced in front of loews on sat night  to its raining men
Eleese86 (9:23:01 PM): ahahahaha
Eleese86 (9:23:05 PM): whod u do that withh
Oagey97 (9:26:27 PM): with the wenstroms  tucci  this kid nasty   and the ragostas
Oagey97 (9:26:32 PM): and the mailman
Oagey97 (9:26:36 PM): (steve)
Eleese86 (9:26:37 PM): hahahahaha the mailman?
Eleese86 (9:26:50 PM): thats cute lol
Oagey97 (9:27:00 PM): haha  yes it is
Oagey97 (9:27:04 PM): indefinately
Eleese86 (9:27:12 PM): ohh big word
Oagey97 (9:27:50 PM): haha

Mike Hornberger... oh what a great kid..
MikE9er7 (6:46:49 PM): why hello mam
Eleese86 (6:47:00 PM): lol hiya! the sex was great this vacation
(sidebar - mike was in FLA during the vaca)
Eleese86 (6:47:02 PM): thank you
Eleese86 (6:47:04 PM): :o)
MikE9er7 (6:48:46 PM): ahha anytime buddy
MikE9er7 (6:48:50 PM): actually i take that back
MikE9er7 (6:48:58 PM): not anytime..... ur welcome***
MikE9er7 (6:49:02 PM): hahahah jk jk
MikE9er7 (6:49:56 PM): ahahhaha
MikE9er7 (6:49:59 PM): how waws ur vacation
Eleese86 (6:50:13 PM): oh amazing.. i learned how to rotate tires
Eleese86 (6:50:19 PM): lol haha what about you.. pick up any ladies?
MikE9er7 (6:51:28 PM): AHAHHA u faggat..... 0 action:'(:'(:'(
MikE9er7 (6:51:39 PM): extremely dissapointed in myself
MikE9er7 (6:51:46 PM): no action for 2 weeks is harsh
Eleese86 (6:51:49 PM): hahahaha ouchh
MikE9er7 (6:52:21 PM): ahah i know
Eleese86 (6:52:29 PM): i swear, everyday im getting whiter and whiter..
Eleese86 (6:52:33 PM): I WISH I COULD TAN :O(
MikE9er7 (6:52:42 PM): ahahhaahahhahaahha
Eleese86 (6:53:00 PM): lol you dont understand.. i cry at night
Eleese86 (6:53:10 PM): i have an idea
Eleese86 (6:53:13 PM): OOO THIS IS GOOD
Eleese86 (6:53:33 PM): okay what if.. what if i layed outside everyday and went tanning evryday.. then id be one big freckle
Eleese86 (6:53:35 PM): i could be soo tan
MikE9er7 (6:53:44 PM): HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA
Eleese86 (6:54:28 PM): id be attracting skin cancer like 4 yr olds attract r kelly

oh mikee hahaha

MikE9er7 (4:55:07 PM): oo shit someone has a dick in their mouth at the moment hahaha

Auto response from Eleese86 (4:55:07 PM): :-P gregs hereee woo hooo

MikE9er7 (5:30:07 PM): once the sun sets my time comes:-D
MikE9er7 (5:30:22 PM): and the pants come off u know the deal
MikE9er7 (5:30:26 PM): prob the same with u everynight
MikE9er7 (5:30:28 PM): ahaaaaaahah jk

 

Ah.. courtney...
ATTENTION HOCKEY BOYS: visit me at the rinx - she works there too :o) heh
Swimmer1022 (10:26:13 PM): wooooo
Swimmer1022 (10:26:19 PM): court made the quote page
Swimmer1022 (10:26:20 PM): woooooo
Swimmer1022 (10:26:26 PM): **pats self on back**
 
Talking with court about me thinking about quitting
Eleese86 (9:09:19 PM): but i decided.. what is life without courtney
Swimmer1022 (9:09:26 PM): Thats right
Swimmer1022 (9:09:28 PM): what is life
Eleese86 (9:09:28 PM): yeah i cant go thru with it, id miss you guys too much
Swimmer1022 (9:09:32 PM): with out courtney anna skahill
 
Eleese86 (10:12:56 PM): haha i need to do something with my life
Eleese86 (10:13:16 PM): i need to start dressing like im white.. perhaps a trip to the mall
Swimmer1022 (10:13:26 PM): ohhhhh im down
 
Swimmer1022 (10:23:01 PM): Nice away message dick!
Auto response from Eleese86 (10:23:01 PM): you know the drill, leave a message - and i ignore you :-P

Eleese86 (8:08:16 PM): <3 oh the lancer
MikE9er7 (8:08:23 PM): hahaha fuck u
Eleese86 (8:08:32 PM): haha my car looks like a taxi!!
MikE9er7 (8:08:34 PM): >3 ooo the volvo
MikE9er7 (8:08:38 PM): shit
MikE9er7 (8:08:42 PM): i fucked up the heart
Eleese86 (8:08:45 PM): hahaha good job
MikE9er7 (8:08:49 PM): ahah i guess that means my car really does suck
MikE9er7 (8:08:52 PM): ahahha which it does

Lepanto subing in for Psych.
"for those of you who are not as bright, maybe if youre good ill let you guys finger paint."

"Why do i feel like im in the fucking twightlight zone?" - Ms. Woods in psych.
 
Cummings: Come on guys, you're all juniors and seniors here
Joe Botti: I'm a sophmore
Cummings: I meant age wise, not credit wise..

evo ld ar n o c (9:10:05 PM): Somethings wrong with your quotes page
evo ld ar n o c (9:10:14 PM): I cant get the text on it to load up
Eleese86 (9:10:44 PM): alright thnx doll
Eleese86 (9:10:48 PM): im updating as we speak
Eleese86 (9:10:52 PM): so give it a minute
evo ld ar n o c (9:11:13 PM): Finally putting up those nude pics?

Keri: Mr. Nolan, youre the reason im getting a C in this class, im never going to college because of you!
Mr. Nolan: Yeah, but Suffolk takes everyone

SIRsavesALOT41 (7:00:41 PM):  i went up to a prostitute one time and was like how much she said 300 ill do anything u want and i was like bitch paint my house
 
My 83 yr old grandpa in the city..
Grampa(to my dad): wow.. look at how these girls dress.. i need to get out more often..

Eleese86 (3:37:58 PM): my tummy hurts
Eleese86 (3:38:03 PM): i think im pregnant with ur kid
MikE9er7 (3:38:14 PM): hahahaha nah i think its **** =-O
Eleese86 (3:38:19 PM): ahahahah I WISH
MikE9er7 (3:38:27 PM): HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH u wish u were pregnant
MikE9er7 (3:38:31 PM): aahahaha u crazy fuck
Eleese86 (3:38:33 PM): ashahahaha i want **** babys
Eleese86 (3:38:34 PM): lolol
MikE9er7 (3:38:36 PM): ahah on that note im goin to eat
Eleese86 (3:38:42 PM): could u imagine little joes running atround
MikE9er7 (3:38:59 PM): HAHHAAHAHAH no little yous runnung around
Eleese86 (3:39:03 PM): ahahahaahaha
MikE9er7 (3:39:03 PM): thats even scarier


Eleese86: could you imagine what the world would be like if i had kids...
Sum41rep1ica: haha
Sum41rep1ica: hell

Haha Sam Cubeta and her sarcasm. . .
Eleese86 (9:54:39 PM): im back, dont panic
PiiinkPrinncess (9:55:03 PM): ok i wont i started freaking out that you weren't there

Talking about Edgar Allen Poe in English..
Nolan: Marries his cousin.. where else have you seen this?
Kevin Maggio: Springer!!
 
Mr. Cummings talking about his son named Cooper( which i hate)
Cummings: Yeah, his name is Coop-Dawgie Dogg.. his latest single is "potty trained"
 

While Sam Cubeta bleeps her mom and couldnt get thru.. and then finally does when she screams, " Fucking whore bag!!"

Me: JESUS CHRIST!!
Cummings: It makes me feel uncomfortable when you call me that..
 
(On my cell phone sending/recieving text messages)
Me: I'm bored..
Lepanto: I have an idea.. lets play hockey..
Me: OMG yeah!!
Lepanto: and we can use your CELL PHONE AS THE PUCK!
 
Cummings: Aright guys, we were supposed to go the library today, but then it was taken, so then we were gonna use the computer lab and switch with another class - but then they winded up not wanting to switch, so that would explain why were still here"
 
Note: Cummings is about 5'2''
Cummings gave out a true/false test that no one understood.
Cummings: See now, this is called true and false. True, meaning correct, means that you leave and write 'true' next to the sentence. False, means wrong, you have to change the part that makes it wrong. An example of a false statement would be "Mr. Cummings is tall".. you see what i'm saying
 

The loud speaker beeps during class as to make an announcement, so Conrad, being the funny shit he is pretends to be my principle who makes the most stupidest/pointless announcements that waste our time.
Conrad: Just a reminder, you are all in class right now. We are in Smithtown, New York.

Driving home from school as a bus cuts me off
Laura: FUCKIN BUS DRIVER!! SHES A FELLOW BUS MATE
(because i drive a yellow car...) thats right.
 
As I make a turn at 50 mph
Laura and Kim: OH SHITTTTT (( as they grab on the oh-shit bars)) <- inside joke

Talking about massive bitch fights in Chem.
Jess: I could see Alyse comin to fight in her pimped out yellow lancer with a bumpin system and like stop short and be like ' whose fuckin with Keri?'..and you see her with all her hockey boys in the back seat and all their hockey sticks.. haha i could only imagine..
 
Talking about drinking in Criminal Justice..
Cummings: yeah, as Keri aslready knows - puking on your parents front porch is not a good idea...
 
Mike making an announcement in Chem
Jess: Is she [Erin, his girlfriend] pregnant?
Paul Davidson: No i heard you were though, when do you plan on loosing the weight?
 
Kim Bozza: Where would I be without you?
Me: umm, youd be takin that big yellow limo to school..
Kim: Instead of your little yellow one
Me: Haha, bitchass...